Page 100 of Love Deep
“Oh, Mommy, can Emma come too?” she asks.
I shake my head. “We can’t go, Riley. We’d have to get a flight, pay for a hotel. It’s way too expensive. You know we can’t afford it.”
Tears gather in Riley’s eyes, and she runs off to her bedroom.
She’s had so many disappointments lately. I wish I could make things better for her.
“What about that money you earned from selling your paintings?” my mom says from where she’s stirring the sauce on the stove.
“What?” I ask.
“You know, I thought you made a nice amount of money from the Colorado Club buying all of those paintings of yours.”
“Yes, I’ve put it into Riley’s college fund. I’ve kept a little aside for fun stuff. It’s paying for camp this week. But it’s not enough for a trip to New York.”
Mom turns to face me. “I’m not suggesting you blow her entire college fund. But you could take a trip to New York. Didn’t you say that nice gallery lady that came to visit you was in New York? You could meet with her. That might turn into something for your painting.”
I laugh. “She’ll have long forgotten about me,” I say.
“Well, be that as it may. But you don’t lose anything by reaching out to her to tell her you’ll be in town.”
If I was going to New York City, it would make sense to call Grace. She may even be able to introduce me to some people, like she said she would. But I’m not going to NewYork City. There’s no way. “I can’t fritter away Riley’s college fund because of some unrealistic dream I have.”
“Well, first, you wouldn’t be frittering it away. It’s potentially an investment in both of your futures.”
“Yeah, and it might be nothing. It might be a lot of money down the drain just to chase after something that’s never going to happen.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. You’ll never know unless you go. I heard a man talking on the TV the other day, and he said something that stuck with me. He was talking about… I don’t know what, I wasn’t really listening. But he said something that did catch my attention. He said, you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.”
My stomach falls to the floor.
She looks me dead in the eye. “He wasn’t wrong. You have to take opportunities when they’re given to you, Juniper.” She turns back to the pan and sets the lid on. “And worst-case scenario, your daughter gets to have an experience of a lifetime. Seeing Vivian Cross in concert is a dream come true for her. But also, visiting a city like New York. Showing her more of the world like that, expanding her young mind? It’s good for her. I wish I’d been able to do that for you.”
“You do? You wanted to take me to New York?”
“Well, not New York, necessarily. But I wanted you to know about the world outside of Star Falls. It’s important to have roots, Juniper. But it’s magical to have wings.” She looks at me. “I wanted you to soar.”
I glance at the floor, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I let you down,” I say. Getting pregnant at eighteen isn’t what any mother wants for her daughter. I understand that now in a way I couldn’t comprehend when I was younger.
Mom turns off the stove and crosses the room togather me in her arms. “You could never let me down. If anything, it was the other way around. I never really showed you what life might be like beyond Star Falls. And maybe on some level, you were scared to leave. Getting pregnant allowed you to stay here.”
She sighs as she pulls me into a hug. “We all do the best we can. There’s no looking backwards. Only to the future. Riley is the greatest blessing. You’re a wonderful mother and having a child was the most important thing to you. But you don’t have to sacrifice your wings for Riley. You may even be able to show her how to fly.”
I squeeze my mom tight, tears gathering in my throat.
“Take her to New York, sweet girl,” my mom says. “See how you both can fly.”
THIRTY-SEVEN
Fisher
If I’d scheduled a meeting with Gerry Banks, he’d have probably dodged me for weeks. Enough time has been wasted. So I’m taking a leaf out of his book and being underhanded to get what I want. Sometimes the ends justify the means.
Lucky for me, Vivian sees me as family because of the connection to Efa and Bennett, and when I asked if I could arrange a meeting with Gerry and pretend it was a meeting withher, she didn’t even ask why. She just agreed.
I’ve requested a private room in the restaurant. I’m not sure how Gerry’s going to react. He’s hated me for years and has covered it up. Now I’m going to reveal I know who he really is.
When I arrive at the restaurant, I’m ten minutes late. I want to make sure he’s situated so it’s less easy for him to walk out when he realizes Vivian’s not coming, and he’s stuck with me.
