Page 35 of Forbidden Obsession
My chest is all warm, and I don’t know what to do with myself. Thankfully, there’s still dough to knead, so I do that.
“What’s got you asking these questions?” She goes back to her mixing as well, which makes it a little easier for me to talk.
“I’ve had a lot to think about lately with the way things are. And the changes. Can I ask you another question?”
“Anything you like.”
“Do you ever wish you were born fae and not human?”
She frowns into her mixing bowl. “That’s complicated.”
Boy, do I know. “I just wondered.”
“Does Rahz have something to do with this?”
Yes. Rahz has something to do with everything.“Not only Rahz.”
Bessa takes her time answering. A deep breath in and out, a few passes of her hands over the dough, countless tittering heartbeats in my chest.
“It’s hard not to want what you don’t have in life. Would I like the respect of others to come naturally? Easily? Yes. Would I like my own land? Yes. Would I like to fly among the clouds as you do?” She flicks flour onto my wings and winks. “Absolutely, yes. But do I like being human? I do. I like my big, strong body and my sense of time. My identity. If I could trade, I’m not sure I would. You see how it’s complicated?”
I nod, taking everything in, turning each thought in my mind, trying to make sense of her position. “You don’t feel as though you are respected?”
“Not in the same way you are, youngling. Surely you see that much.”
I don’t. Or I hadn’t. But I’m beginning to. And if Bessa feels this way, then it must be true. But it’s all so unfair.
“Have you and Rahz spoken about this?” she asks. “How does he feel?”
“Some yes, though I’m coming to think he’s been protecting me from the worst of it.”
“He’s a sweet boy. You’re lucky to have each other.”
This I can agree with wholeheartedly. “I’m the lucky one.”
“Him too. You’re also a sweet boy. Clever, funny, loving. You have many a charm, my love, and you’re growing more compassionate with each passing season. I’m proud of you.”
A surge of joy so strong it brings tears to my eyes zings through me. “Oh, Bessa.”
“Don’t cry in my dough, Jin,” she warns, a teasing hint to her tone. “Otherwise, we’ll have no honey for the apricot pastries I plan to make to welcome Rahz and Falen home with.”
“You are the best, Bessa.The best.I love you so.”
“And I you.” She smacks my hands, which have gone still in the dough. “Now back to work.”
So grateful I could burst, I do as I’m told.
And I continue to think. To wrap my mind around new thoughts and hold it open for whatever is to come. Because it feels like something is coming. And I plan to be ready.
ChapterFifteen
Rahz
For two nightsand one day, I’ve been haunting the streets of Lemossin, scouring every nook and cranny for useful information. The city is like a whole different world than back home in Jodpirn. Here, folks speak openly about the conflict, the brewing escalation, the threat of war.
They say with no artifice that the southern lands are in turmoil, the humans are revolting—they’re coming out of hiding to loot and riot until they’re slain or chased away by a makeshift fae militia—the trade routes are compromised, the mixlings must prove their loyalty, and the queen prepares to act.
The humans here are skittish, going about their work with fearful expressions, twitchy movements, and one eye always on the palace guards as if they expect something. Would my mother be safe in Lemossin? The answer is no. I wouldn’t want her within a ten-hour ride of the city, much less within its stifling walls.
