Page 23 of A Bridge to a Troll's Heart
“You have.” Toby took a sip and closed his eyes.
Arlo took his cup and settled back upon the bed. “I’m listening if you want to talk.”
Toby’s lids fluttered open. He raised his gaze to Arlo’s with a resigned expression. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to tell you. I’m sure you realized I took quite the shine to you…before.”
Arlo held his tea firmly in both hands to stop himself from reaching out. His mind turned over the phrase.Before.So…not now?
“I should never have kissed you.” Toby stared into his teacup. “I behaved rashly, and I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions. It was unfair to you, and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry!” Arlo blurted, catching Toby’s surprise as he glanced up. “I’m glad you kissed me, then.” He stumbled over the words. “Even if you don’t want to anymore.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to. I do. But we shouldn’t. A relationship between us would never work. If I’d stopped to think before I kissed you, I would’ve known that.”
Arlo didn’t understand. What had Toby figured out that Arlo had not?
“But we do make great friends,” Toby continued. “And now that I’ve had time to sort out my feelings, I’d like to try and stay friends…if you want to, that is.”
“I do.” Arlo’s chest tightened. “Er, I mean of course I want to, but what happened that changed your mind?”
Toby blinked and shifted on his chair. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve gone over that day a thousand times in my head. One moment you seemed as happy as I was, but you were sad by the time you left. I’ve never known why. I’m afraid I said something to upset you. Please tell me so I can apologize properly.”
“None of this is your fault, Arlo. I should’ve known you’d want a family of your own someday. I’ve seen how you are with children. Of course you’d want them. You’ll leave to find another troll, and I will be happy for you, I promise. I won’t hold you back from your greatest desire.”
“But—”
“No, wait, let me finish. I know there’s time before you’ll have to go, but if we carry on together, I’ll grow too attached.” Toby exhaled a long sigh. “If I’m honest, I may already be too attached, but at least I’ve realized my mistake early. Wolves mate for life. I cannot just have a fling with someone I care about as much as I care about you, Arlo. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you.”
“Are you quite finished?”
Toby gave a sheepish nod and visibly braced himself for whatever Arlo would say next.
Arlo rushed to erase the worry from Toby’s sweet face. “I don’t ever want to leave and find another troll. I want to stay here with you.”
Confusion danced in Toby’s expression. “With me?”
“Yes. Only you. Well, you and your family. I thought if we were together, maybe I could help care for your nieces and nephews. Maybe I could learn to be a good brother to your siblings. I thought you’d want us to be a family.”
“I do, but, Arlo, you could have your own children with another troll. I could never give you that.”
“That isn’t what I want. I don’t think I could do it—have children and then abandon them to come back and guard my bridge. That’s what their mother would expect of me, but leaving my family would break my heart. I’d rather have no family than have to abandon a family I loved.”
Toby’s response came slowly. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“I’ve thought of it often,” Arlo admitted sadly. “I don’t enjoy being alone for days on end. I’m not very good at being a troll.”
“Don’t say that. You’re an excellent troll. I’ve never seen a bridge in better condition. Nary a twig or acorn on it, always tidy, and decorated for each season. It’s lovely. You do a grand job.”
Heat crept along Arlo’s cheeks. “Is that the only reason you were sad? The reason you stayed away so long? Because you thought I would have to leave someday?”
“Well, yes.”
A sliver of hope took root. “And if I promise to stay?”
“I don’t know.” Toby set his cup aside, tea forgotten. “I want to say that would make everything better, but does it? You must live here, and my family lives in the village. What would we do?”
Arlo racked his brain for an easy solution, but there wasn’t one. He couldn’t expect Toby to live in a den fit only for a troll, and he couldn’t leave his bridge…could he? “I’m not sure, but I want to find out.”
