Page 18 of A Bridge to a Troll's Heart
“All right, good. Me too, although…” He was going to say, never something so serious, but it seemed silly, as they’d only just shared their first kiss.
“Although what? Er, if it’s okay for me to ask.”
“Well, it’s been a while,” Toby admitted. “None since I’ve met you. It’s not easy to find other wolf shifters like me. I’ve never found someone who wanted more than just…you know.”
“Me either.” Arlo gave a gentle shrug. “Though I can’t say I’ve been looking.”
“Why not?” Toby was always looking. Previous lovers had been incubi who weren’t known to be choosy—or to stick around longer than a few hours.
“Trolls are independent by nature. My parents only met because their time had come to raise a family. Once I was old enough not to be underfoot, my dad left to return to his bridge. But I have years to go before I have to leave to start a family.”
Toby’s breath stalled in his chest. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying something stupid. Of course, Arlo would find another troll and have a family someday. He’d make a good father. Arlo had a natural indulgence with his young nieces and nephews. But wolves mated for life, and Toby didn’t know if he could have a fling with Arlo, only to know their relationship would be temporary.
“I see.” He probably shouldn’t have kissed Arlo after all. This had been a terrible idea. “So, you want a family?”
Toby held his breath while waiting for the crushing affirmation. Arlo wouldn’t want anything serious with him.
“Oh yes, always.” A broad smile lit Arlo’s face. “It’s my heart’s greatest desire to have a big family. One like yours.”
Toby’s heart sank. He’d thought he’d finally found someone special in Arlo. Someone who could be his mate. He’d even imagined what it might be like to live in Arlo’s cozy little den, helping to guard his bridge, but it had all been silly daydreaming. Toby couldn’t give Arlo what he wanted.
“What do you want most in the world?” Arlo’s low baritone stirred him from the spiral.
Toby’s thoughts were so muddled he struggled to answer. If someone had asked him yesterday, he’d have known what to say, but doubt muddled his mind. He stumbled through an honest response but left out several key details.
“I want to find a mate to share my life with. Someone who’ll overlook my faults and love me anyway.”I want it to be you.
Arlo took Toby’s hand, enveloping it in his larger one. “What faults? You’re perfect to me.”
The sweet words shattered his heart more than cruel ones ever could. Toby was far from perfect. Any other wolf shifter could have told Arlo that, but the troll didn’t know his life’s greatest failure. Besides, he didn’t want to talk about that now.
“I hope you get your big family someday, Arlo. You deserve to be happy.”
Confusion clouded Arlo’s gaze. His big hand tightened around Toby’s. “You deserve to be happy too.”
Though the sentiment sounded heartfelt, Toby had trouble allowing it to sink in. He’d been brought up to believe someone special existed for everyone in the world, but the longer he went without finding him, the more he thought the concept wasn’t true.
“What’s the matter?” asked Arlo. “Have I said something wrong?”
“Of course not.” Toby untangled himself from Arlo and stood. “I should go.”
Arlo clambered to his feet. “But why?”
Toby considered making up an excuse, but found he couldn’t lie to Arlo. “I’m sorry. I need to go.”
Arlo reached out but stopped short of touching him. He drew his arm back to his side. “All right. I’ll be here if you need me.”
Now Arlo looked sad too, and it was all Toby’s fault. He’d made a mess of things today. “I’ll see you later, Arlo.”
“Bye, Toby.”
CHAPTER7
October
Arlo
An early frosthad come in fast and settled heavily over the landscape. Arlo’s wool layers kept him warm when he stayed busy, but if he sat idle, the cold crept in, seizing his bones. He hadn’t seen Toby for weeks, and he was moping more often than not.
