Page 56 of Changeling
No. Not that either.
What about…
To my good friend Sebastian,
No. We only knew each other for a short time, not long enough to becomegood friends,though it felt that way before he left.
To Sebastian…
That will have to do.
* * *
The next day,I take a walk across the pontoon bridge from Pest into Buda. Sprawling gray clouds, pregnant with threatening rain, block the sunlight and suit my mood. The water of the Danube runs swift and dark beneath the planks.
Even in my human form, I attract looks. I’m too tall. Too broad. And my hair is far too silver for my apparent age. It’s an odd combination that passersby tend to notice and has always made me uncomfortable in public. I’ve often thought I’d prefer country life to city, but then…how would I feed?
Not that I’ve been in the mood for that anyway. The demon roils inside me, begging for scraps, but the thought of feeding off pleasure that isn’t Sebastian’s turns my stomach. I can’t go on like this forever.
I flip the letter I’m holding over in my hands. In the end, it doesn’t say much at all. When my words became too revealing, I balled up the paper to start anew until the missive boiled down to:
Sebastian,
I hopeyou had a safe journey and are settling into castle life by the time this letter arrives. Is your room in a tower? Because that’s what I’m imagining. You, framed in an arched window high above, gazing out on the fields and forests below.
Is there snow at Bran Vigny? It’s only beginning to turn cold here. Perhaps Rizpah’s scarf is serving you well. She sends her hellos, by the way, as does Leonas.
Did you find the trinkets I left in your bag? Just a little something to remember your time at The Twig by. I hope you like them. I thought the amber would complement your eyes.
Things here are the same as always. No one listens to me. Danya hustles one too many guests, Annais performs my tasks better than I do, Leonas sulks in the shadows as he likes, and Rizpah somehow takes care of all of us.
Do write and let me know how it goes for you. I hope you are well.
Sincerely,
Dominus
I heave a great sigh.There’s so much more I want to say, but it’s better this way. Better than nothing at least.
I imagine Sebastian in the jewelry—amber at his sternum, perhaps in his ears, but no stone is as lovely as the jewels of his eyes. He’ll surely turn heads among his new community. He’s probably found a new lover by now. Whoever it is had better be taking good care of him. Such raw and natural submission as Sebastian possesses could be easy to take advantage of. I hope he finds a partner worthy of what he offers.
Ugh.The thought of Sebastian with another makes me see red. Jealousy isn’t a common trait among incubi, and it’s not a feeling I’m well acquainted with. I don’t like it. I don’t want to be the sort of person who gets jealous of phantom lovers hundreds of miles away.
I’m losing myself. Maybe Leonas is right, and I should have told Sebastian the truth. How much I miss him. How I need him. But I don’t want to be selfish.
What’s left?
Misery. I manage that just fine.
On the other side of the bridge, in the city of Buda, I follow the main road uphill from the river. Just on the edge of town, where busy streets become dirt roads and the smells of humanity shift toward the wild scents of the looming forest, stands an outpost for the preternatural.
I don’t make this journey often, but it just so happens I was here last week to send word to Bettina that the trespassers were no threat and had been dealt with.
A wood nymph guards the tiny, hidden dwelling, and by “guards,” I mean he checks in from time to time to raise or lower a particular branch that indicates to passing messengers a letter awaits their services.
I hope he’s not present so I can leave my letter in peace.
The network of supernaturals—mostly vampires—that transport letters to and from our little enclaves stretches the whole of the continent and beyond. I don’t interact with many outside of Bettina’s spawn, Ivaz, and Janos, but I speak to the wood nymph from time to time. And he’s never pleasant.
