Page 49 of Changeling
“I hope he and the twins are okay, whatever they’re up to.”
“I’m sure they will be. Somehow, they always are despite their best efforts at self-destruction.”
There are stories there, but I’m in no mood to ask. Though I’m unsure what Dominus will think of the gesture, I muster my courage to take his hand. We’ll be parting soon, and I want as much of him as I can get before that happens.
To my surprise, he clutches back, holding tight. His big hand engulfs mine, and I love it. I’m so on edge with emotion it’s only a matter of time before the tears win out. I’ve had my fill of losing people, and I don’t want to lose Dominus too.
But he isn’t mine to lose, is he? However it may feel now.
Though my destination is weeks away on foot, I can’t help but wish we were making the trip the old-fashioned way. The long journey would give me the time to process my stay at The Twig before diving into a new world with The Dozen. I’m not looking forward to another portal. The last time through was disorienting at best, wreaking havoc on my senses.
We trudge uphill along a road wide enough for carts and horses. Farmland stretches on either side, but at the crest of the hill, a forest of trees waves its branches in the distance. That is where we’ll meet Remy and Sachi.
Where I’ll say good-bye to my new lover.
A sigh escapes my lips, and the silly hope of a future with Dominus escapes my grasp. It’s not what he wants. Not meant to be.
I must accept that, though acceptance rings hollow.
* * *
Dominus
Sebastian’s handis cool and clammy in mine, but I hang on to it fiercely just the same. I shouldn’t. It will only make letting go harder.
I’ve always been the type to rip a bandage from a wound. A burst of pain, fast and furious. Then the worst is over. But this agonizing peeling at the corners, this bit by bit removal one good-bye at a time, is killing me. I don’t want him to leave, but who am I to hold him back? What can I offer so that he would stay?
The answer is nothing, so I don’t even try. Sebastian needs his own people. He needs teachers and a community that will accept him, something I can’t offer at The Twig, where only Leonas can be trusted with his heritage.
I refuse to make this harder for him by asking him not to go. I won’t burden him with my irrelevant emotional attachment. Sebastian isn’t meant for me.
The evening air stirs around us with the first hint of chill from the oncoming fall. It should be refreshing, but only feels cold. Rizpah’s scarf will come in handy where he’s headed.
My steps are heavy as we near the tree line. They are waiting for us—the halfling and the vampire-witch, Sachi and Remigius—standing side by side in the distance.
My stomach swoops and clenches. Can I trust Sebastian to the care of these two? Over the years, I’ve heard nothing but good things about The Dozen, and these ambassadors are who the vampires chose to represent them. Ostensibly, they’re trustworthy. They risked a dangerous portal, draining for the witch, to save Sebastian from me. They mean to protect him.
So why is it so hard to let him go?
Sebastian squeezes my hand. He sees them too. He flashes his big, honey eyes up at me, questioning.
I must make this easy for him.
“Your escort is here.” I try to say this lightly, to make a joke of it, but the words come out leaden.
“So it is.” His voice is as stiff as mine. He draws to a halt and tugs at my hand, forcing me to stop with him.
Sachi and Remy don’t approach. Perhaps they know we need this moment to ourselves. I respect them all the more for it.
Sebastian studies my face—so thoroughly, so carefully, like we may never see each other again. I want to drop to my knees and beg him to stay. My selfishness knows no bounds. But I resist. I must.
“Thank you,” says Sebastian, “for taking a chance on me. For being kind when you didn’t have to be. For making me feel not so alone.”
His words overwhelm me. The eye contact becomes too much. I glance over his shoulder to the couple who’ll take him away.You’re welcomeisn’t enough.My pleasuresounds flippant.
“I’m glad we met.” Not sufficient either, but better than leaving him with no response at all.
“Me too.” His answer comes quick. Infused with his warmth. “Very glad. And I will miss you, Dominus.”
