Page 77 of Beyond the Ruby River
I imagine it, you know. The day you return. The tears of joy I know I won’t be able to hold back. The stories of your worldly travels, of all the places you’ve been that I will never see. I would listen for hours, stroking your cock as you spoke, licking your skin, nestling into my spot by your side.
Please come back.
Love,
Your Nedjes
Mahu,
You’d think I would lose hope, but no. Each time we receive a visit from Solon, I hope you are with him. When I see that you aren’t, I hope he carries a letter from you. When he says that he doesn’t, I hope you have asked of me. I don’t tell Solon that last part because if the truth is that you don’t care, I cannot bear it.
Rhakotis is called Alexandria now, though surely you must know that. There’s a library of such magnificence you could not imagine. So many papyri, Mahu, but none as fine as yours. I write to you from your own stash, can you tell? I’ve kept them all these years. I use them only for these letters. My heart will break anew if ever I run out.
You visit me in my dreams, naked and writhing. You give of yourself over and over again to feed me. “Yes, Nedjes,” you say. “Take it all. I’m yours.”
You speak lies to me, Mahu. I wake up starving and angry in those moments between dream and reality, for you are not mine. You haven’t been mine for centuries. The sorrow comes to sweep away the anger, but nothing sates my hunger without you.
Some days I think I should give up on you, but my heart simply can’t fathom the surrender. I shall wish for your return until the day that I die, which, as you know, will leave me wishing for a very long time.
Won’t you write to me?
Love,
Daka
Dakarai,
Tonight one of your wishes comes true when my dear Solon hands you this letter, then you’ll read my words and another wish of yours will be crushed.
I haven’t written to you because I mean you no harm, and I’m well aware my words will harm you. But because you continue to ask, well, here we are.
I’m not coming back. You must put the thought out of your mind.
I don’t look back on my mortal life in Kemet with any sort of fondness. For me, those memories are all heartbreak and sorrow. I prefer to avoid them. I don’t ask of you. I wish you well, but I don’t want to know about your life. I want you to go on living it without me. Be happy, Dakarai. Find someone new, and then find another and another. Stop this pining for a season of our lives we’ll never get back.
I’m sorry to hurt you like this. I hold no anger toward you anymore. Though you haven’t apologized, you may rest easy knowing you are forgiven nonetheless. There is no grudge between us. I have simply moved on and do not wish to go backward.
You’re a clever, talented, and generous person. You’ve everything you need to be happy. Don’t let me stop you.
If you want to do something for me, what I want is for you to move on as I have. I don’t want to think of you sad. When I remember you, I see the joyous sparkle in your blue eyes, and that is what I want for you. Joy.
Don’t dwell on this letter, Dakarai. Cast it aside and get on with living your life. Listen to Niya, she wants what is best for you.
Sincerely,
Mahu
II
Egypt, 1432, Common Era
22
Dakarai
Floating, ears beneath the surface, listening to the water whisper its strange secrets—or was that the fish making those sounds, he didn’t know—Daka lay on his back in the river. The water still had the chilly bite of the highlands, but he didn’t mind the cold. He needed the peace and quiet.
Almost quiet. At least the plunk, plunk, glub sounds were quiet in their own way.
