Page 29 of Beyond the Ruby River
“Go,” Mahu ordered.
Daka nodded, eyes still cast downward. “Ma—” He stopped himself from saying the name with a gulp. “Please listen.”
Mahu knew he should refuse, but his lips stayed pressed in a tight line. He waited.
“There is a smell. I don’t know what it is, but I’m worried it’s a sickness. I smell it now, especially when you cough.”
Had Daka poisoned him? Mahu raised his hand to his mouth.
Daka raised his gaze. “I caught the scent for the first time before we’d even met, when you laid flowers on your family’s graves.”
“What?” Mahu had been alone that day, weeks ago now. “Were you stalking me?”
Daka shook his head frantically. “No! Well…” He looked to the ceiling as if for help. When their eyes met, the desperation in Daka’s face hurt Mahu’s heart. “Yes, but not to harm you! Never to harm you. I thought you were handsome, and I was so hungry.”
Mahu couldn’t back up any farther. Hungry? “What?”
Daka swiped the tears from his cheeks. “None of that matters now. I should have told you the truth. I’m sorry. I’m worried you’re sick, but I didn’t do that. I couldn’t. I really can’t harm you at all, even if I wanted to, which I don’t. But, Mahu, please, see a doctor.”
The temple priest he planned to see was also a doctor. What was Mahu supposed to tell the man? The demon I slept with says I smell odd? Right. And Daka didn’t deserve the reassurance.
“Just get out.”
“Promise you’ll seek treatment?”
“If I promise, will you leave?”
“Yes.”
“I promise. Now go. And don’t come back. You aren’t welcome here.”
Daka shuddered, hugged himself, turned, and left.
Mahu watched his back until he was gone.
* * *
Daka
Racking sobs overtook him as soon as he crossed the threshold. His chest heaved. He’d never thrown up before, but he felt as though he might. The entire contents of his stomach lodged in his throat and made it impossible to breathe.
Daka leaned against Mahu’s door, fighting to keep himself together. How could he have let the worst happen? How could he have been so stupid? Now Mahu feared he was cursed, and Daka was to blame. He dropped his face into his hands and cried.
Mahu’s fury shocked him. No one had ever been that angry with Daka before, certainly not anyone he cared for. His guts were on fire. Pain in his chest threatened the beating of his heart. But he must rein himself in enough to concentrate. He stood outside Mahu’s house where anyone could see him, horns exposed, tail embracing him as if hugging himself might bring a drop of comfort.
Focus, Daka. Say the words.He managed a broken whisper.“Sthi unda writcha vanon.”
Horns and tail shimmered, then faded away, leaving Daka as human as he could be, which was to say, not nearly human enough for Mahu.
Another sob rose from the depths of his soul, but Daka fought the emotion back. Mahu didn’t want him there. Would be angry if he opened the door to find Daka lingering, pathetic and foolish. Daka had gotten everything wrong. He didn’t deserve a man like Mahu.
Wrapping his arms around himself, Daka forced one foot in front of the other and walked away. The pain worsened with each step, but he kept going. Mahu had promised to see a doctor, and that was the most important task accomplished, so Daka sought comfort in it. Mahu would get his cough taken care of. He’d realize he wasn’t cursed. He’d never forgive Daka, but he’d go to his afterlife knowing himself worthy. Daka hadn’t ruined that for him, surely.
A shuddering sigh escaped his mouth and took all his energy with it. His head felt heavy, knees weak. His vision blurred through tears he couldn’t wrangle.
Daka came across a small, empty garden and poured himself onto a bench amongst the sweet-smelling flowers. The scent turned foul in his nostrils. The sun’s early morning rays cast long shadows over the greenery. In the nearby homes, people began to stir. Sounds of cooking, chores, and the crowing calls of roosters populated the day.
Daka ignored them all, choosing instead to become one with the bench. He laid his cheek against the chilled stones and wept.
