Page 63 of Lucky Penny
I rest a hand on the headstone to steady myself. I still remember the day we buried her—it was just Fia and me, Nan’s cousin, and a few friends from the hospital she worked at for decades. It was small; even Danny’s furlough request was denied, so he couldn’t attend.
“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you when it happened. It was so sudden, and my whole focus was on my sister and taking care of the legal stuff, but that’s no excuse.”
Maybe it’s the tears, maybe it’s the damn bouquet of daisies, maybe it’s seeing him defend me and my sister last night, but something in me cracks open. A tiny piece of myself willing to meet him halfway.
Willing to give him the apology he deserves.
Jesse chews his lip, hand shoved in his pocket. “I would’ve been here in a heartbeat, you know that, right?”
“I know.” I nod, absorbing the hurt I know he felt. Hefeels. Right here—right now.
Jesse blows out his cheeks, his tough exterior softening. If he cries, I’ll lose it.
“She loved you like you were her own, she never stopped thinking about you,” I offer. “I hope you know that.”
She really did. Jesse became one of us so quickly, and Nan had a soft spot for him. When he moved to California, she was so worried. She didn’t bring it up to me, but I knew he was on her mind.
He laughs, but it’s the kind you do when it hurts, when words can’t suffice. I want to hold him, to tell him it’s okay. But I just smile, locking in on the ocean of green that stares back at me.
“It sucks to not be able to say goodbye to someone you love,” he replies.
My heart slams into my rib cage, the air stolen from my lungs, because those words land like thunder—echoing and sudden.
I’m caught somewhere between a memory and this very real, raw moment. I never got to say goodbye to him. He was out of my life in a split second, just like Nan.
“It’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone,” I say, pulling my arms across myself as the wind picks up.
The space between us hums with everything we haven’t said—and somehow, it’s all there. Every word. Every goodbye we never got to give.
With my heart still racing, my words slip out without second thought.
“What are you doing after this?”
I guess I really don’t want to spend this day alone, after all.
The smile that follows could light up the whole world—just like it lit up mine, once upon a time.
Jesse grins. “What did you have in mind, princess?”
24
Jesse
NOW
“You know you can look at me.” It’s like I barked a command to one of my dogs, the way her eyes snap to mine, startled. Ialmostfeel bad.
“I know, but you have to admit, this is weird,” she replies, easing the slightest bit into the driver’s seat as I watch my motorcycle grow smaller in the rearview mirror. I’d much rather have her arms tightly around me as she straddled the back of the bike while we cruised into town, but there was no way I was winning that battle.
It’s winter, I am not getting on a bike, Jesse Rivers!
“What’s weird?” I grab onto the oh-shit bar. I wonder if anyone’s ever told her that she drives like she’s fleeing a crime scene.
“That we’re driving through Wilmington…together… in my car!” She laughs, stealing a look at me. My whole body gets a shiver from one look.
“I feel like you’re notreal,” she adds.
Something in Penny shifted at the grave site, and I just hope I can keep her open, keep her talking. I need this version of Penny, the one who’s beginning to show herself to me again. The one who makes me think that maybe a second chance isn’t completely impossible.
