Page 106 of Lucky Penny
He drops his head slightly, dark locks falling over his forehead. I place my hand over his, gripping it hard, using him as my anchor.
“Jesse, you broke my heart.” My vision blurs as I stare at him.
“Penny…” He cocks his head back, saying my name like it hurts him. “I know I did. I know I left you.” He pauses, and my breathing shallows.
“Three years had passed when I was released… I stayed away, because I didn’t want to ruinyourfuture.” His voice cracks, guilt carved into every line on his face.
He lets out a soft laugh, almost bitter. “Look at you.” There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. “You did it, baby. The dream school,you made something of yourself. I was just a lucky guy who got to be in your orbit for a bit.”
“Don’t say that." I shake my head, squeezing his forearm. "Do not say that. Please.” His haunted green eyes meet mine. “You deservedeverything, too. I believed in you,” I say with as much conviction as I can, as my voice wavers.
“It’s okay...” he murmurs, leaning toward me. “I took the pain and moved on. I loved you enough to let you go.”
“Then why didn’t you come looking for me?” The question cuts through the air, sharp and aching. He could ask me the same question.
Jesse lets out a hollow laugh. “The day I got out, Iwantedto find you. God, how I wanted to run to you, Penny.” He pauses. “Nan picked me up, and the whole car ride home, she talked aboutyou. I’ll never forget the way she radiated with pride.”
The room feels darker, and my chest constricts.
“You were studying abroad, in Paris.” He looks at me knowingly. My dream. “I knew then there was only one choice: to let you go. So I moved as far away as I could. I removed temptation, because you weren’t mine to hold on to.”
A lump as heavy as steel forges in my chest, and I shiver in this steaming hot water.
Every puzzle piece, every moment from the past ten years, suddenly clicks into place. It’s like a ripple effect on my heart, smoothing over all the lines and jagged edges until it’s whole again. Even if it’s messy, even if I want to refuse to understand, I do.
We broke each other in different ways, at different times.
The water collects on my eyelashes, clumping them together as I look up at his tortured face, still focused on me.
Jesse lived in my head as a different guy for a decade.
The villain, the reason I’m jaded.
He was my secret, my scapegoat, the person I couldn’t bear to think about, yet couldn’t erase from my mind. And now here he iskneeling before me, in my most vulnerable state, and there’s only one question left.
“Do you still love me?” I whisper.
He gives me that sad, crooked smile. His green eyes shimmer like rare sea glass.“I never stopped.”
I curl my knees to my chest and press my cheek against them, trying to make myself smaller. “What does this mean? I don’t know… I don’t know what to do now,” I say.
It’s still and silent in the bathroom, and I tilt my head so I’m looking at him.
“About what?” he asks softly, fingers trailing up my spine. It’s gentle, and I shiver under his touch.
“Everything,” I breathe.
He waits patiently, strong, unwavering.
“I don’t know how to be here for Fia, I don’t know how to build a relationship with Danny, I don’t know how I’m supposed to go back home in a few days. I don’t know how I’m supposed to sit here and pretend that I’m okay with leaving you.”
“You don’t have to pretend.” Jesse’s hand finds my neck, gently massaging it. “You take care of everyone else, but who takes care of you?”
I'm unable to give him an answer, but he doesn’t wait for one.
He lowers his lips to mine, capturing a soft moan from my mouth.
“Let me take care of you.” His voice is velvet against my neck as his supple lips mark me. Calloused hands reach into the water, cupping my wet breasts as he leans me back against the tub.
