Page 39 of A Scottish Christmas Hideaway
‘No, don’t be silly. It’s just . . . I know they’ve just been a wee bit concerned. Sorry, Jessie, I’ve obviously said the wrong thing. How about you let me buy you a hot chocolate over there.’ He pointed at the coffee shop, St Mocha, opposite the car park, which did look warm and inviting.
Five minutes later, they were sitting at high stools in the window of the café as two mugs of hot chocolate were placed in front of them along with a piece of lemon-and-coconut sliceand millionaire shortbread. ‘Thanks,’ Jessica said, then lowered her voice. ‘This is all good market research.’ She tilted her head towards the cakes.
‘I am very glad to oblige,’ Reuben grinned.
She clasped her hands around the mug, enjoying the warmth. ‘To answer your question and Mum and Murray’s concerns . . . then yes, it’s been a tough year in London for one reason or another.’
Reuben fixed his eyes on hers but didn’t say anything.
‘I’ve worked flat out all year and taken no holidays and had issues with some clients . . . and then got burned out . . .’
He gave her an encouraging nod.
‘And this time last year I was seeing someone . . . and then he died suddenly.’ There, she had said it. She had told him her big secret.
‘I’m so sorry to hear that,’ he said softly. ‘That must have been awful.’
She nodded, and her jaw clenched tightly. ‘It was.’ As he looked at her, his eyes warm and full of concern, she wanted to tell him the rest of the story. She wanted to tell himeverything.But then she would be exposing herself and making herself even more vulnerable than she already was at this moment. She didn’t want him to judge her or think less of her. She just wanted to stay in this cosy cocoon and be in this moment with him for ever. Then the little niggle of guilt stabbed at her and reminded her of the reality.
‘How did you cope?’
She sighed and gave a shrug. ‘I worked. Andworked. But then I realised that wasn’t a great coping strategy. I was starting to get irritated with the clients.’ She remembered Ivan’s conversation with her just a few weeks ago. Things had shifted a lot for her since leaving London. ‘I actually don’t know if it’s something I want to do any more.’ Her mouth dropped open.‘There, I have actually said it out loud. I don’t want to go back to my old way of life. I don’t think I want to be in that corporate world any more.’ She lowered her gaze. ‘I want to stop hurting,’ she added softly. When she glanced up at him, he was looking at her with compassion.
‘I know. I understand. And it won’t feel like this forever.’
Jessica could feel the tears start to smart in her eyes and decided it was time for a change of subject. ‘Anyway, enough of me. Time to try out these cakes.’ She lifted up a knife and cut them both in half. ‘Dig in,’ she said, pointing at the plate.
Reuben paused, still looking at her. Then he reached across and squeezed her hand. It was a small gesture but it made Jessica feel so much better. But would he be so understanding when he found out the truth? It was a risk Jessica wasn’t yet ready to take.
Chapter Twenty-Five
That night, after her parents had gone to bed and the house was still and quiet, Jessica went into the kitchen. She pulled on her mum’s polka-dot apron and washed her hands at the sink. The idea had been percolating in her mind for a while now and she wanted to do something special for Gillian and Struan and to bring some magic to the bakery. She and Gillian had strung some fairy lights and Christmas baubles in the shop window. But it needed something more and Jessica had the perfect plan for a festive window display. She was going to surprise them with a gingerbread house.
She carefully made the dough then rolled it out on a sheet of greaseproof paper she’d placed on the worktop. Following a template she’d found online, she cut out one of the sections then slid it onto a baking tray. Then repeated it until she had everything she needed. As the first batch baked, she leaned against the counter and smiled. The warm scent of cinnamon, ginger and allspice soon filled the kitchen and smelt so comforting. She felt herself begin to unwind. Chatting to Reuben that afternoon had definitely helped her. She was also glad they’d cleared the air between them. As she cut out Christmas trees and stars, using the leftover dough, she sighed. Even the thought of him still made her stomach flip. But despite the chemistry between them, she still hadn’t told him the whole truth about Tim.
It was only when all the pieces of gingerbread were cooling on the counter that she realised she had no idea how she was actually going to assemble it all. She stared at the walls and roof pieces, knowing that it would surely collapse if she tried to build the house and then take it to the bakery. She would need to do it there, preferably when nobody else was around. Which meant after Gillian finished her shift tomorrow. But she also knew itcould be potentially fiddly and she could do with an extra pair of hands. Someone with the right expertise . . . Dusting her floury hands against her apron, she reached for her phone and sent a message.
Help! I could do with your architectural skills for a secret plan. Can you meet me at the bakery tomorrow evening?
She didn’t have to wait long for Reuben’s reply.
I am intrigued. I’ll be there. What time?
Jessica grinned to herself, already picturing the two of them building a gingerbread house. She quickly typed out a reply.
Does 5 p.m. work? And don’t say anything to anyone!
He replied instantly.
I won’t say a word. See you there!
* * *
Her dad helped her carefully transport the gingerbread pieces to the bakery the following evening when it was closed. Gillian and Struan had agreed she could use the bakery kitchen, especially when she said she was keen to experiment with a few new festive recipes and that she couldn’t use the kitchen at home as her mum was batch cooking. It was a small lie, but one she hoped they would understand.
Now she stood in the bakery surrounded by the carefully baked gingerbread pieces wondering where on earth to start. The bell above the bakery door jingled and she walked through to the front, relieved and glad to see Reuben.
‘I hope you’re prepared,’ she said playfully, before locking the door and leading him through the back.
