Page 51 of A Year at Appleyard Farm
‘I can’t wait any more, Sam. I need to see Merry and Tom. Whatever’s happening we should be there. She’s my oldest friend.’
‘We don’t want to be in the way.’
‘If someone tells me I’m in the way, then I’ll leave, but until then I need to find out what I can. I don’t know if there’s anything we can do, but I’d never forgive myself if there was and we were just sitting here…I’m going to see if anyone has any information.’
The receptionist was tired and busy. A telephone behind her rang incessantly, and her colleague, deep in conversation, ignored it. Her smile at Freya was tight, but at the mention of the baby, a flicker of something passed behind her eyes. She’s a mother too, thought Freya; she knows how it feels. She pointed back behind her, motioning through the double doors.
‘There’s another waiting area down the corridor, which leads off the ward. I should wait there if I were you. Someone might be able to help.’
She couldn’t do any more, Freya knew that. They weren’t family and had no right to any information. She glanced back at Sam, and together they hurried through the doors. The atmosphere here was different, purposeful. There were no bored expressions or resigned faces. Here, everyone was alert and watchful, waiting for the next conversation, the next event which might either take them on the road to recovery or lead them further into an even darker day.
Freya caught sight of Tom almost immediately. He was sitting halfway down the corridor, his back tight against the chair, his pose rigid. He was staring straight ahead, his hands still, cradled in his lap.
His head whipped around the minute he became aware of someone, and a small flicker of disappointment was visible as he realised she wasn’t a doctor. Freya’s heart went out to him, as his look changed to one of gratitude at seeing them, and she wished with all her heart that she could give him more.
He rose as they neared him and reached for Freya just as she reached for him, their hug saying more than the words they struggled to find.
‘I had to come out for a minute,’ said Tom, ‘but Merry…someone should be with her.’
‘Where is she, Tom?’ asked Freya. ‘I’ll go to her.’
‘Through there,’ he managed, pointing at another doorway. ‘In the middle.’
‘I’ll find her,’ she replied, looking at Sam.
‘Go on, go. I’ll wait here,’ he answered.
It felt so intrusive, walking past other people in beds, but as she neared the middle of the row of cubicles, she heard Merry’s voice, soft and gentle, and knew she had found them.
A nurse smiled a welcome as she paused by the door, replacing a pen in her top pocket, and Freya felt a slight easing of the tension in the room. The nurse made room for her to pass and in a moment, Freya had her arms tightly around Merry.
It took a few minutes before either of them could speak. Freya felt Merry take a deep breath, and pulled away slightly so that she could see her friend’s face. Her cheeks were wet, but although her eyes were still brimming with tears, Freya was relieved to see more than the despair she had expected. A tiny glimmer of hope, perhaps?
‘They think she’s going to be okay, Freya,’ said Merry, in a rush of breath. ‘I was so frightened.’
Freya looked down at the small figure lying on the bed; the baby’s cheeks were flushed, but her breathing was more peaceful as she slept. One arm lay on top of the loose covers, a tube snaking away from it to a drip at one side of the bed. Freya couldn’t imagine how Merry must be feeling and the terror that she must have felt.
‘Is it…is it what we thought?’ she asked, not wanting to say the word out loud.
Merry nodded. ‘They’ve confirmed it’s meningitis, and they’re pumping her full of antibiotics just to be on the safe side, but they won’t know for certain which type it is until the results of the tests come back. We’ve caught it early, and there’s no proper rash which is a good thing. They’re pretty certain it’s viral, which isn’t as serious as bacterial…’ Merry trailed off. There was no need for her to say any more. ‘It all happened so fast. No one said very much in the ambulance, but the minute we got in here, the room was suddenly full of people, sticking needles in her, doing tests. It makes you feel so helpless, just watching…and I wanted to pick her up and cuddle her, but I couldn’t…’
Freya watched as a single tear spilled out onto Merry’s cheek.
‘We might have lost her…we still might.’
‘But you didn’t, and you won’t.’ She pulled Merry close again, stroking the back of her hair, just like she had done so many times in the past. Just like Merry had comforted her all those years ago when she thought she had lost Sam for good.
‘Do you remember what you said to me when you were in labour, Merry?’
Merry lifted her head.
‘You were very eloquent if I remember. Even though you were in pain, you made me promise to listen to you. I thoughtI’dlost everything that day, first Appleyard, and Sam too, but you told me to fight, to let go of what was making me scared, and breathe through the pain. You said that at the end of it, I might find myself with a miracle. Well, I got mine that day, Merry, and so did you. A beautiful little girl, born with a snowstorm raging outside, and named after one of the smallest birds there is, but a bird brave enough to see the winter through. She’s got her mum’s fighting spirit, so don’t you dare give up on her.’
Merry inhaled a shaky breath, and pulled away, wiping her eyes.
‘Who suddenly made you so wise?’ she whispered.
Freya thought for a moment, the answer on the tip of her tongue, but she said nothing, just smiled.
