Page 48 of The House at Hope Corner
‘Fraser?’
He didn’t even move.
‘Fraser… are you okay?’ There was a sudden flutter in her own chest.
She stood there, almost not wanting to move, until she saw a tiny nod of his head. She let out the breath she’d been holding, and moved forward to sit on the edge of the bed. The room was softly lit and, as she approached, he looked up slightly and the glow from the fire lit up his cheek and an expression full of sorrow.
‘Oh, Fraser…’ She took his hand, and knelt beside him on the floor. ‘I’m so sorry…’
His shoulders heaved.
‘They stopped my heart, Flora. Ripped me open like a chicken caught by a fox…’ His words caught in his throat. ‘And I’m thinking maybe they should have left me dead.’
He looked up then, and she could see his eyes, dark with pain. Her own eyes began to fill with tears.
‘I’m so sorry, Flora,’ he mumbled. ‘So sorry…’ He pulled his hand from Flora’s grasp.
‘What are you talking about, Fraser? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all…’
But Fraser shook his head, refusing to be comforted. ‘I’ve ruined everything… And now this.’
‘Listen to me, Fraser,’ she said softly. ‘You haven’t ruined anything at all. You’ve been really poorly, that’s all, but now you’ve come back to us.’
‘Aye and no use to anyone.’
‘Nonsense, try telling that to Hannah, or to Ned…’ She ran her thumb over the back of his hand. ‘And don’t you dare believe anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. We both know that in many ways what comes next is going to be the hardest part. There may well be bloody awful days up ahead, but we’ll tackle them one at a time until a day arrives that might not be quite so awful… then we might have a few which settle for being merely mediocre, and then before you know it, there might be a tiny glimmer of good, and I sincerely hope after that, completely and utterly wonderful. We will get through it, Fraser. I promise you.’
He squeezed her hand. ‘That’s a nice thought,’ he said.
‘That’s life, Fraser. Whatever it throws at you, throw it back if you don’t like it and wait for the good stuff. It will come,ifyou plant the seeds… and now you get to choose which ones to plant, just like the flowers in the garden… You might decide that some bits of your life need a good old prune, and other bits need more nurturing, but one thing is for sure, you’re going to have plenty of time to figure out which. And that’s okay, it really is.’ She leaned forward to kiss his cheek. ‘You take all the time you need. Just concentrate on getting better, and don’t worry about anything else. Just know that every day brings you a step closer to where you want to be.’
‘You’re a good lass,’ he replied, his voice gruff. ‘I don’t normally talk much about my feelings, but… I am grateful to you, for all you’ve been doing for us. And I’m pleased to see Ned so happy.’
She looked at him for a moment. His face was lined and drawn, but it was the face of a good man nonetheless and he didn’t deserve to be made to feel like this. She could bloody murder Caroline. Old friend of the family or not, she should know better.
‘You get some sleep,’ she said after a moment. ‘You’ve got a lot of catching up to do.’
She gently withdrew her hand. ‘Is there anything else you need?’ she asked, checking that the fire was still burning brightly.
‘No, I reckon I’m all set.’ His gaze drifted to the table beside him, which was laden with drinks and tempting treats, newspapers, books… She caught the ghost of his smile.
‘You’re a lucky man having Hannah to look after you,’ she said.
‘Aye, that I am, lass, that I am.’
She dropped a kiss on his forehead. ‘Then I’ll say goodnight, Fraser.’ She rose and walked to door. ‘Sweet dreams,’ she added, but Fraser’s head was already bent.
It wasn’t until Flora was halfway down the hallway on her way back to the kitchen that Fraser’s words suddenly came back to her.I’ve ruined everything, he had said.And now this. Two sentences. Two separate admissions.
Oh, Fraser, she thought. Guilt over his heart attack she could understand. But what else have you done?
Hearing voices coming from the living room, she doubled back to speak to Ned. Coming closer, she realised that the voices were low and urgent and she took a couple more paces, wondering whether it was a bad time to interrupt. Hearing Ned’s grumbling tone, she hoped that he was already chewing Hannah’s ear about Caroline, but his voice became clearer as she neared the door.
‘We can’t keep pretending this isn’t happening, Mum. Sooner or later we’re going to have to do something about it, and the worse it gets the harder it’s going to be to keep it a secret. And Caroline isn’t going to keep her mouth shut forever, she’s made that very clear. Once that happens, we won’t just be losing our livelihood but our good name as well. We’ll be laughing stocks of the whole community, and I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to pass. Think how Dad will feel if that happens. What he’s been through already is bad enough, but this? This could bloody well kill him!’
Chapter Seventeen
Flora knew she wouldn’t get a wink of sleep. She had crept away after hearing Ned’s words last night, tiptoeing back down the hallway with her heart thumping in her chest. She had retaken her seat at the table and pretended to draw for a while until Ned came back into the kitchen acting as if nothing had happened. Shortly afterwards, he had announced that he was heading up to bed. She followed him after a few minutes, lying awake beside him, everything she wanted to say locked tight inside her as the clock ticked through the hours until morning.
