Page 99 of The Substitute
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I start walking. Where the fuck I’ll go, I have no idea, but I can’t stand here waiting for everyone to leave. Can I even go back to the dorm? Not if Ambrose is going to be there.
“Tobi.” I flinch at his voice but don’t stop. The sensation of being in trouble swirls in my gut like I’m a child and I just broke Mom’s favorite lamp. It’s stupid. I’m twenty years old. “Tobi wait!”
He grabs my arm and spins me around but I don’t lift my gaze to his. He hands me my coat which I begrudgingly slip on. If my teeth weren’t starting to chatter, I wouldn’t have taken it. My hands find my pockets and my shoulders drop in relief. My phone and wallet are inside, so I have resources.
“Thank you,” I mutter, not really wanting to speak to him but I don’t really want to be a dick either since he was nice enough to bring me my stuff.
“You’re welcome.” I can feel him appraising me, and it makes my already nervous heart beat faster. “Where are you going?”
I shrug since I don’t actually know.
“You were just going to wander the streets with no jacket, no cell phone, and no wallet?” He slides his hands into his pockets and gives me a disbelieving look.
“Basically.” Why does he even care? He told me he didn’t want me.
“What are you punishing yourself for?”
“Excuse me?” I snap my head up to look at him now. What the fuck? That question is so out of nowhere I don’t know how to answer it. Not that he deserves the answer anyway.
“You’re clearly punishing yourself for something. So what is it? What did you do so wrong that you have to walk around in thirty-five-degree weather with no jacket on as penance?”
Losing you.
“Just leave me alone,” I snap and pull up Savage on my phone.
Tobi: Can I stay with you tonight?
Savage: Of course, you okay?
Tobi: No. I’ll be there in a bit.
I head toward the train station, ignoring Ambrose following me.
“Really? You’re running to him?” He spins me around to face him outside the station, not caring that we’re in the way and causing a traffic jam.
“You said you were done, so leave.” My lip trembles, but I hold his gaze.
“That’s not what I said.” Ambrose grabs my face but quickly looks around and drops it. “I said I won’t be a placeholder. I won’t be used to make someone else jealous.”
“You use me to make Savage jealous all the fucking time!” I yell and shove away from him. “Do I love Rhys? Yes. He was my best fucking friend for most of my life. But I’m not in love with him, you brute! If you can’t tell the difference, that’s a you problem.”
“I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.”
“Don’t you dare!” I shove my finger in his face. “Don’t you play the victim here. I deserve better.”
“I don’t want to fight with you. Please stay and talk to me.”
But I can’t. My head is so fucked up, and I need to not think about my brother and Rhys and fucking hockey.
When I get to Savage’s place, I take a few minutes to clean up and get ahold of myself, to bury the pain of Ambrose until I’m good and angry.
Savage opens the door right away when I knock, standing there with a grin that quickly morphs into concern. “Why do you look like you’ve been crying, baby girl?”
I shake my head. “It’s a long story. Is your roommate home?”
“Yes.”
That stops me from launching myself at him like I want to. When I’m within arms’ reach, Savage pulls me to him and backs us into the apartment, taking my mouth in a hard kiss as the door closes.
