Page 151 of The Substitute
I press my eyes closed trying to sort through some of my feelings. “Did you follow me home from the bar?”
“Fuck no. I left and went home. Ambrose came and got me last night.”
Confused, I turn to look over my shoulder at him. “You did?”
“You need him, too.”
“But…you want me to yourself. I was trying to do that for you.”
“I know I do, but I can see you’re missing a part of yourself. I think you need us both.” Ambrose leans up on his elbow to kiss me.
My heart is ready to burst, but whether from joy or sadness, I’m not sure yet.
“You are more important than our shit,” Ambrose says against my lips. “We’ll figure it out, but right now, you’re the priority.”
“Are you saying you’ll both date me? And like be okay with it?”
“Yes,” Ambrose says.
I turn back toward Savage for confirmation, and he nods. “We have a lot of history to work through, but we never had a reason to try. Not until you. You’re more important than any shit we have.”
“Why?” My own warped sense of self can’t understand why these two keep coming back. “Why me?”
“We’re going to have to work on that self-worth of yours, baby girl.” Savage cups my face in both hands so I can’t turn away from him. “You’re worth it.”
The air in my lungs catches as my heart pounds. He’s wrong. What happens when they realize I’m not worth it? What have I done to make them think that’s true?
“So you still want me?” I hate that I need the reassurance.
“Tobi,” Savage breathes my name and presses his forehead to mine. “There’s no one I want more.”
I kiss him, needing the connection to him. Needing him to touch me in some real way.
“I need you so much I am here with my asshole brother,” Savage laughs into my mouth, and I greedily drink it down. I’ve missed his joy.
“Hey!” Ambrose grumbles.
“What if I need more of this?” I whisper, afraid I’m going to push them both too far.
“More of what?” they say together.
“This. Both of you with me at the same time. Keeping you separate all the time is so hard.” I look at Ambrose over my shoulder, then back at Savage. “Alone time is good, but I think I need this, too. I feel like I have to tiptoe around everyone.”
They lock gazes, and I can feel Ambrose tensing behind me before he sighs and presses his face into my neck. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I can’t promise to be nice all the time, though. He pisses me off on purpose.”
“You’re just so easy to work up.” Savage has a shit-eating grin on his face. “But I’ll be nicer, too.”
“I swear to fuck,” Ambrose mumbles, and I chuckle.
“Can I have my hands back now? I really want a hug.”
Ambrose lets me go, and I wrap my arms around Savage, breathing in the mix of all three of us on his skin.
“Fuck, I missed you, baby girl,” he murmurs into my hair.
“I missed you, too.”
Savage lies back and pulls me half on top of him with one leg over his, and my head on his shoulder.
