Page 85 of Bad Seed
I don’t talk to anyone, certain that they’re all laughing at me behind their backs.
She thought she could get him? How pathetic.
And I did. I really let myself think this time would be different. That he’s different. He didn’t hide me from his friends, not that he had any. He didn’t monitor what I ate like a hawk, or hide things in my food I shouldn’t eat. He made me laugh, protected me, adored my body every way he could.
How could I be so stupid to let myself think that he liked me? That he wanted me?
That he could love me?
“Hey!” My roommate’s voice carries across the whole house like a sonic boom. “You’ve got a package!”
“Can you bring it up to me?” I call out from my wallow.
“No.”
I don’t have a choice. My back screams at me as I fall to my feet. I’ve aged fifty years in grief, my hands gnarled and face sagging to my knees. No man would want me. They’ll shriek and throw tomatoes at me as I pass.
I’m a hideous monster.
A hideous monster who’s not wearing pants. Partway out the door, I glance to my piles of laundry. There’s the clean pile and the dirty pile. I think the clean one’s on the left, but it’s been a while and… Ah, fuck it.
I grab my robe and throw it on.
Looking like a frumpy housewife from some sexist cartoon, I clomp down the stairs while clinging to the banister for dear life. Olivia’s standing at the door, presumably talking to the delivery man. “Hey.” She greets me with a nod, then slams the door and walks off.
A burst of hospitality surges through my darkness. I wrench the door open to find a skinny man in all red standing on the stairs. “Are you Miss Nair?” he asks.
“I’m sorry about that. Olivia’s…” The door closes behind me as if it too is tired of my shit. “She takes a lot of getting used to.”
“This is for you,” the man says and hefts over a box. I hadn’t ordered anything. I hadn’t done anything for a week. Lifting the box in my arms, I give a listen to the thuds when it hits me.
It’s for a client. There are so many commissions coming in lately I can barely keep up.
“Thank you,” I call out to the delivery man.
“No.” He turns and shoots a finger gun at me. “Thank you.”
Okay, bit weird. Reaching behind, I get a hand on the door and start to hobble the heavy box inside. Whatever’s inside rolls around like a mess of baseballs. It’s not easy going, and the last thing I want to do is bruise their product. Pristine packaging matters. Easing the box higher, I try to hook my hand under it and finally turn to walk in.
A hand slams to the closed door.
Aubry?
Someone’s panting as if he’s run a thousand miles. A man. Slowly, my head pivots, wanting to believe he’s fought through a million sharks to be with me.
I gaze slightly down at the face and frown. “Derek?”
“Sadie…”
“Derek?” I shriek and take a step back into the door. “You’re not supposed to be here.”
“You really thought you had me, you bitch.”
There’s always been an edge of cruelty in his sharp face, but he looks deranged. I slap my hand back for the door handle, hoping to run inside so fast he falls on his face. But Derek’s hawk glare cuts through my arm, and I freeze.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stutter.
“Hiring that goon to try and kill me. I fucking know it was you.”
