Page 16 of Why Cheese?
AS A PACK, they lead me toward their cellar, which makes sense. There isn’t a lot to see up here. Roq’s gone his usual grunting bulldog while Cheddy runs ahead to throw open the door. Cam lingers with a single finger down my arm and Bree…
“Brie!” I shout, the pieces falling into place.
“Yes?” he asks.
“You’re Brie.”
“I…know?” He blushes, his pale blue eyes blazing like a winter sky.
“No, I mean, I kept thinking you were Bree with two e’s, but you’re Brie like the cheese…”Holy cow!I spin around, my finger landing on Cheddy. They’re cheeses. Their names are cheese. “Cheddy?” I muse, causing him to grin. “Chedward? Ooh, Cheddar!”
“That’s it!” he shouts, then gives me double high fives.
“And what of me?” the mysterious, dark-haired Cam asks. He’s harder to pin down, unlike the copper-haired, strong, and popular Cheddar, or the soft-spoken and oft-melting Brie.
His lips lift in a smile edging toward a smirk. “Do you need a hint?” He walks his fingertips up my arm and shoulder until his warm breath purrs in my ear, “I’m smooth, cream in the right hand, and melt in your luscious, little mouth.”
Cam places the tip of his finger to my lips, teasing towards my cupid’s bow when it hits me. “Camembert?”
His dark eyes flare with joy, though he steps back and sighs. “I fear it’s too Francés for my tastes, but what can one do?” A lyrical Spanish accent flits through his words, one I hadn’t heard before. It vanishes as quickly as it appeared when he cries out, “Ah, and what about our stalwart Roq?”
Dashing to the side of the last man, Cam wraps his hands around Roq’s shoulders—though he has to stand on his toes to reach. “Who is he, really? At the core of his pungent, off-putting personality? Let us have a guess.”
A cheese like a rock? There are a lot of cheeses around the world. Um, uh…? God, it’s on the tip of my tongue.
“Roquefort,” he declares, the r’s trilling with a heavy French accent.
“Is there any game you will not ruin?” Cam whines.
Roq only stares him down before nodding to the ladder. “This way.” Rather than wait for me, he descends, then Cheddy goes after him.
I pause at the top and look back at Cam and Brie. “Is that why his hair’s blue?”
In the deep dark, a loud growl echoes up the ladder. Cam and Brie both chuckle.
It doesn’t take me long to follow after, but my mind can’t cease buzzing.Camembert, Brie…“Do you taste like cheese?”
“Let us slip away to somewhere private so you may discover that answer for yourself.” Cam’s whisper echoes off of the bricks like a shot. I burn hotter at the idea while he smiles as if I’m going to take him up on his offer.
Though, he didn’t answer my question.
My feet hit the ground, and I nervously rub my wrists. They’re not used to so much climbing. “Can you hear while a cheese? Feel? If someone were to sit on you would it hurt?”
Cheddy tips his head back in thought while Cam and Brie both shrug. I don’t anticipate the loud snarl of, “We were cursed.”
Slamming his feet to the ground, Roq appears from the darkness. An oil lamp sways from his hand. “We cannot see. We cannot feel. We are not alive when we are cheese. It is a living hell, not existing in the waking world, but—when alive—fearing that at any moment an ignorant fool could devour us whole. Do you understand?”
The dim lamplight scours his granite features into a gnarled monster and I cower. He looks like a statue come to life to judge me for my sins. “Mm-hm,” I mumble, wishing he would walk away.
Roq sneers once, then he and the lantern turn. I take a breath of fresh air before realizing the only light in the cellar is next to him. I didn’t realize how many weird drafts and dripping sounds are down here. Is that scrabbling sound a rat or a ghost?
“Wait up,” I cry and rush to join him. My flailing limbs misjudge the distance and I plow right into Roq’s back. Steel muscles bounce me off of him like a skipping stone. He doesn’t say anything as I stop just behind and rub my nose to make sure I didn’t break it. He’s a damn hard cheese.
Playing leader, Roq takes us around the big vats and deeper into the cellar. Hiding behind the first row are empty tables and racks stretching to the ceiling. They’re all empty now, but I can picture big wheels of cheese resting on them for a few months of aging. Is this where they sleep during the day?
“So—” I lean back toward the other amenable three—“you guys were cheese that got cursed into being human?”
“Ah…” Cam says.
