Page 19 of Filthy Rich Temptation
Another hot day, but a different city, a different park,allthe people. Danny had been out with friends the night before. He was a cheerful drunk, but a hungover Danny was the worst kind of mean. Knowing he’d be dead to the world till noon, I slipped out with Lottie, hoping for just a little peace.
We were on the swings when he showed up. I still remember the look on his face – rage so sharp, I fell back before he even touched me. He yanked me to him without a word, his grip bruising, dragging me home as he shouted every name he could think of. ‘Slut’ was his favourite that day. My dress was too low, too short – was I trying to get attention? Did Iwantmen staring at what was his?
That was the last time I ever took Lottie out to enjoy the sunshine.
A breeze cuts through the heat, provoking the goosebumps now rife across my skin. I blink, and Hyde Park snaps back into focus – sun-drenched and full of life. It’s a place I once loved, pre-Danny. A place Ishouldlove again.
But the noise keeps pressing in, the bad memories drowning out the good as I shiver and Theo quits walking.
‘Sadie?’
He strips his sunglasses to frown down at me, his eyes searching mine.
I wonder how well he sees me without the lenses.
‘Do you want to find somewhere quieter?’ he asks.
Well enough, apparently.
Maybe he’s wearing contacts.
Maybe those sunglasses aren’t prescription at all.
Or maybe those brilliant-green eyes don’t need any aid to see me – really see me – right now?
Funny, the things your brain fixates on when you’re trying to talk yourself down from a panic attack. But his eyes could distract me from a gazillion things – the suffocating feeling in my chest being right up there with the churn in my gut.
Still, I hesitate.
I don’t want to ruin the day.
I don’t want to ruinLottie’sday. She’s so happy to be out in the sun, to be somewhere new and exciting, and I know this is what she needs. What I need too. If not fun, at least a taste of normality.
The kind of normality that isn’t shaped by terror.
‘I’m fine,’ I say eventually, one hand stroking Lottie’s soft curls, the other gripping her tiny hand like an anchor.
‘I don’t believe you,’ he says gently, the concern in his gaze holding me hostage and I abandon the act with the smallest shake of my head.
‘I hate that this happens,’ I admit, voice barely above a whisper. It makes me so angry that Danny still has this kind of power over me. We haven’t been together in months. I haven’t seen him since his last explosion, the one that finally pushed me to go to the Gardaí and get the restraining order. That was a whole month ago. But he’s ingrained in my soul, like a stain I can’t scrub clean.
Perhaps if they’d been able to hunt him down, arrest him, do something…
‘Is it the crowds, the noise…?’
I swallow hard, taking in the familiar surroundings – the lush green trees, the historic Serpentine Bridge, the lake dotted with boats and birds, people everywhere enjoying a day out in the sun… just as I would have. Before.
‘We can go somewhere else if you like?’
I shake my head and bring my eyes back to his. ‘No, I want to stay. I used to love coming here. I want to love it again.’ Hell, I want to lovelife again. ‘Lottie will love it too,’ I say, stronger now, more determined. Because ultimately, that’s what matters most. My daughter and her happiness. A real childhood.
He’s studies me – quietly, intensely – the grooves either side of his mouth deepening with his thoughts. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
Then again… maybe I don’t.
He probably thinks I’m a few fries short of a happy meal.
And honestly? He’d be right.
