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Because it kept me busy.

Kept me moving. Kept the emotional tsunami at bay.

But now I’m on the train to London’s King’s Cross, Lottie tucked into my side – her and Dino quietly absorbed in her tablet – there’s nothing left to distract me. Nothing to hold back the thoughts. The heartbreak. The truth crashing over me.

How could he have done this to me?

The one man I thought I could trust. I could let go with. Be real with. Beme.

It’s soul-destroying. I’m not just mourning what we had – what Ithoughtwe had – but grieving the future I foolishly let in.

And it’s not lost on me, the irony. How I stood there and told him I could do it all on my own, when right now, being alone is the last thing I want.

I think of Taylor. Of Danny getting to her. And it kills me – knowing I brought him to her door.

Sheshould’vetold me, and I’m angry. So angry that she didn’t.

But the guilt runs deeper.

I pull out my phone and glance at the series of missed calls, all Taylor, and messages:

Taylor

Call me, please. I’m so sorry xx

I believe her. I do. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.

Unknown Number

My men will meet you at the station and take you wherever you want to go. Axel

My teeth grind. Taylor or Theo – one of them has been on to Axel.

But I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that felt relief. Because being angry at Theo kept me from fully thinking about Danny. And the thought of coming face to face with him – Lottie in tow – knowing the rage it must’ve taken to drive him this far…

It’s a showdown I’m in no shape to face.

My phone buzzes as I’m staring at it, and my heart flips over:

Theo

I know you hate me, but please believe me when I say I’m sorry. More than words can ever say. T xx

Hateyou? I wish I could hate you!

That’s why it hurts so goddamn much. It’s not Taylor, it’syou.

Because I was the idiot who fell in love with him all over again. I was the idiot who thought he could possibly see me and love me back. I was the idiot who’d started to hope for a future as perfect as those families on the beach. As perfect asuson the beach.

My fingers tremble as I lift the phone and take in the photo on the home screen. It’s Lottie eating ice cream – the laughter in her eyes, the hands holding her by the waist… Theo.

I press my fist to my mouth, smothering the rising sob.Oh, God, Theo.

And then I do the only thing I know I can: I call the one person I know will catch me.

It picks up on the first ring…

‘Sadie! Thank God!’