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THEO

Something wakes me.

I’m not sure what.

I’m not sure Iwantto know.

It’s early. Too early. The kind of early only birds and bakers should see.

But now I’ve heard it, I can’t ignore it.

I roll onto my back and drag a hand down my face. How in the hell did it get to this? My life slowly being taken over by my best friend’s little sister, Sadie, and her hurricane of a three-year-old, Lottie.

One week. That’s all it’s been since they moved in. One!

And sure, I said they could stay for the summer. Long enough for Sadie to find her feet, get sorted, and move on. But now?

Now I’m not sure who’s going to surrender first – me, or them.

That’s if the tenants downstairs don’t file a noise complaint and force the issue first.

And I’m usually good at making decisions, sticking to them. But this one? This might be the one that breaks with tradition and breaks me in the process.

I stumble out of bed. Boxers. No shirt. Hair and glasses completely askew.

Dignity?

What’s that again?

All I want is coffee. Maybe survival after that.

I like my life neat. Orderly. Predictable.

The exact opposite of the scene I find unfolding in my open-plan living space.

I adjust my specs and squint against the sunrise spilling through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Out there, London’s skyline is bathed in gold, the Thames glinting like something out of a film. Calm. Cinematic.

In here? Toddler-powered carnage. And a noise that keeps on giving: squeals, huffs, a ding-a-ling-ding from God knows what. Though I can’t see a soul – or a devil. Where on earth…?

I rake the hair from my eyes and pick my way through a graveyard of stuffed animals and plastic ponies, ignoring whatever’s been smeared on the wood in between and?—

‘Shit!’ A plastic truck spears my foot.

‘OhmiGod!’

Sadie’s head pops above the sofa, her blonde hair wild, her blue eyes wide as they lock onto mine. One second. Two. Then they shift south…

Naked chest.

Boxers.

Legs.

Boxers.

Boxers.