Page 24 of Pucking My Grumpy Accidental Husband
"Well, whatever she's doing, keep it up. I haven't seen you this loose in months."
Their voices start to muffle as they move deeper into the room, and I take that as my cue to retreat. I tiptoe to the bathroom, flip on the light, and splash cold water on my face like it might wash away the panic. By the time I’ve patted myself dry and attempted to tame the chaos on my head, the murmur of conversation fades into background noise.
I wait until I hear Jamie's door close across the hall before collapsing onto my bed.
A soft knock on the connecting door makes me jump. I open it to find Dax leaning against the doorframe.
"You okay?" he asks quietly.
“Ohhh, I’m fantastic. That wasn’t completely terrifying or anything—just my career flashing before my eyes while I tried not to die of horniness."
“That makes two of us. You were one more second away from ruining my ability to walk.”
"What did you tell Jamie about why you were breathing like you ran a marathon?"
"Push-ups."
"Push-ups?
"Seemed believable."
"Dax, you read philosophy to relax. You're not the midnight push-up guy."
"Maybe I'm expanding my stress management techniques."
"How'd that work out?"
"He suggested I try yoga instead. Said his sister swears by it."
"The same sister whose dating disasters he spent twenty minutes describing?"
"That's the one. Apparently she does hot yoga and just went on a date with a guy who negged her outfit, flirted with the waitress, ordered lobster, and still asked to split the check."
"Those facts might be related."
"Very scientific analysis, Dr. Bennett."
"I have a PhD. All my analyses are scientific."
"Is that what you told yourself when you married me?"
"No, that was a complete lapse in scientific judgment."
"A lapse you're not regretting."
"I'm professionally concerned about it."
"But you're smiling."
"I am not smiling."
"You have a dimple. Right there when you try not to smile."
"That's not a dimple, that's facial structure."
"It's adorable."
"Stop calling me adorable. I'm a serious professional."
