Page 231 of Beyond the Blue Horizon
FORTY-FIVE
THEO
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD
Theo had been dreadingthis day for so long. Dragging his fucking feet. Hating the idea of hurting her but knowing he was only making it so much worse by prolonging the inevitable.
“Scar, I’m fuckin’ sorry, but I’m not feeling this thing the way you want me to.”
Theo sat on the end of the bed, not sure why it felt like his heart was getting shredded. Stomach in knots as he yanked his fingers through his hair.
Scarlett looked like he’d stabbed her.
Crestfallen and filled with disbelief where she stood across the room. “What do you mean, you’re not feeling the way I want you to?”
“Come on, Scar. You know what I’m talking about.” He gestured a hand between them. “This thing between us. You know I care about you, but?—”
“Don’t tell mebut, Theo. I love you, and I know you love me.” She gripped a fist over her chest.
“I do, but not like that.”
Tears blurred her eyes. “Not like that? Not like the way you’ve been touching me for the last six months? Not like the way you’ve had me on the back of your bike like I belong there?”
Those tears streamed down her face, and she frantically swiped them away.
Torment ripped Theo in two.
Because he wanted to. He wanted to love her like that. But how? He’d never felt anything that powerful. Not once in his life.
And he knew he never would.
“I’m sorry, Scarlett. We need to get you home. Where you belong. Where it’s safe and you can live a good life.”
“My home is right here. With you. This is where I belong.”
Regret shook his head, and he slowly stood. “No?—”
Scarlett gasped a choked sound and cut him off. “No, Theo. Don’t tell me that. Don’t tell me you don’t love me. This is where I belong. With you. You saved me. I never had anything until I had you.”
The words spilled from her on a plea. Her desperation pouring into the room and into him.
Pain ricocheted through his being, and he almost gave the way he’d been doing for all this time. But he knew it wasn’t right. Leading her to believe that he felt something that he didn’t.
“I love you, Scarlett, but not in the way you deserve to be. And I don’t want to be the one who stands in the way of you finding someone who’s going to adore you. Wholly. Because you will. I know you will.”
“I’m pregnant, Theo.”
He reared back, struck by what she said.
She edged toward him, hope and despair winding into her voice as she clutched his shirt. “We’re going to have a baby, Theo. We’re going to have a baby.”
His head shook as a rush of fear streaked through his veins. “I’m not in a position to be a father, Scarlett. I’m?—”
“What?” she cried.
“I’ll take care of you. Of the baby. But you need to go home. To your parents. Where it’s safe and good. This is no place to raise a kid, and I’m no man to be a father.”
Grief curled through him at the confession. But it was true.
