Page 178 of Beyond the Blue Horizon
“The question is, are you actually going to do that and go to your party?” she prodded.
I wavered. Caution tape wrapped around my spirit, all while I wanted to rip it away and run free.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Nelly,” I admitted as I blew out a weighty sigh.
“You’re making friends.”
My insides twisted and snarled. It wasn’t as simple as that.
It was…bigger.
More important.
“It’s all happening so fast, I wonder if I’m rushing into something without really thinking through the consequences.”
A frown dented between Nelly’s eyes, though there was a softness to it. “I know you’re scared, Piper. I know this is all new and different and unexpected, but usually the best things in life are things we don’t prepare ourselves for.”
Air puffed between my lips. I never could have prepared myself for Theo. For this man to come storming into our lives.
And the scariest part of all was I wanted him to be there.
“What?” Nelly pressed, her love moving through her grayed eyes as she shifted around to stare up at me.
“I think I’m falling for someone who can’t love me back.” Pain splintered through me at the thought. No question, I was already long gone.
She scoffed. “You are talking about Theo? Because that boy is head over heels.”
My head barely shook. “I don’t think so.”
“We are talking about the same man who brought us a Christmas tree, got everything to decorate it, then spent the evening snuggled up with you and your son on the couch like you’re a family?”
“It wasn’t?—”
“Don’t downplay whatever went on last night,” she said, cutting me off. “I might be old, but I’m not blind, and I don’t think you are, either. Not once have I seen you and your son smile like that, and I promise you, Theo’s smile was to match.”
“He’s…broken, Nelly.” I didn’t know how else to explain it.
“Well, I’ve got news for you, Piper. We all are. We’ve all been fractured and shattered and cracked. We have all lost pieces of ourselves that we never believed we could survive without. We have been hurt and wounded, and some of those scars are deeper than others. But that doesn’t mean we don’t still exist. It doesn’t mean we aren’t still breathing. It doesn’t mean our hearts aren’t still beating.”
Mine pounded inside my chest.
Dread and hope thundering through my veins.
Would I survive it? Loving Theo and losing him?
More importantly, would I survive any of this if I failed Finn?
“It’s coming up to an end, Piper,” Nelly rushed on a whisper. “This running. One way or another, you’re going to have to turn around and face this demon, however you do it.”
“I know.” My nod was shaky.
“You’re so brave, in every way. Every day that you’ve fought. And your biggest battle might be ahead of you, but I know, it will be worth it.”
Reservations clashed with the determination, and I dipped my head as a tear slipped free.
Nelly wiped it away. “Now, you go spend this afternoon with your new friends, and for today, sweet child, just let go and live.”
I sniffled, and she turned, dipped her finger into the potato salad, and took a taste, peeking back at me with a grin as she said, “Almost as good as mine. Now go get your shoes on, and I’ll wrap this up for you so you and your little man can go have a blast.”
