Page 14 of Tides of Discovery
“Is it that obvious?” I asked quietly.
Mason’s expression softened. “Only to people paying attention.”
“But not Cooper?” I asked with hope in my voice.
Caleb snorted. “Cooper is as oblivious as they come when it’s about himself. The man can read a customer’s life story in how they order coffee, but he has no clue that you’ve been giving him heart-eyes behind his back for months.”
Relief swept through me. “That’s good, because I don’t want him to know. I’ve been trying to hide my feelings.” I added in a low mutter, “For years.”
“Why?” Mason asked, his voice gentle. “You guys have history. You’re already close. Why not tell him how you feel?”
I shook my head. “He…he doesn’t think of me that way. I could never risk our friendship by making things…weird.” There was that word.Weird.
“But—” Caleb began.
“No,” I cut him off. “You don’t understand. During our senior year in college, we were at a party. I overheard his conversation.” My gut curdled. “A friend told him he should hook up with me, and Cooper said…” Heat rose in my face. “That it would beweird. So, no. I’m never going to tell him. If all I can have with Cooper is friendship, then that’s all I’ll ever have.”
I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. “Cooper is…he’s steady. Reliable. He knows exactly who he is and what he wants. And what he wants has never been me. He’s had a long string of boyfriends to prove that.”
The apartment fell silent except for the distant sound of traffic below. Caleb’s expression had shifted from teasing to something more compassionate.
“You can’t know that for sure,” he said finally. “People change. Feelings change.”
“Not Cooper’s.” I smiled ruefully. “He’s like a non-player character, set in his ways. If he’d ever felt something beyond friendship, I would have known. We’ve spent too much time together for me to miss that. He sees me as security. As his best friend. Not…as boyfriend material.”
Mason drew his eyebrows together, puzzled. “I think you’re selling yourself short.” He pointed with his fork. “So, what’s your plan? Pine from afar forever?”
“I don’t have a plan,” I admitted. “I just know I’m not willing to risk what we have. If I confessed my feelings and he didn’t return them, everything between us would change. I know I wouldn’t lose him, but things would become awkward, and I can’t risk that.”
“Even if it means watching him date someone else again?” Caleb asked.
A sharp pain lanced through my chest at the thought. “Even then.”
“That’s…either very noble or very stupid,” Caleb said.
“Probably very stupid,” I agreed with a halfhearted smile.
Mason leaned forward, his expression serious. “Just…be careful, Jack.”
“I will.” I picked up my fork and forced myself to take another bite. “Can we talk about something else now? Literally anything else?”
Mason took pity on me and launched into a story about a customer who’d tried to return a book because it had made her cry. The conversation shifted to safer ground. As they talked, mygaze drifted out the window again, toward the warm lights of the restaurant.
My phone buzzed with a text. I glanced down to see a message from Cooper.
Dad just asked when I’m going to “meet a nice girl.”
“Excuse me a moment,” I said.
Caleb smirked.
My heart tugged as I typed back.
I’m just a text away if you need an emergency extraction. Want me to quickly get in drag and stop by?
His response came fast.
You’re the best.
