Page 41 of Forever to Fall
Mallory took a second to think, to attempt to put herself in Beckett’s shoes. She trusted that he felt the same way about her that she did about him, but why wasn’t that enough? They’d been tiptoeing around each other and their feelings since they were in puberty. She was tired of hiding, tired of lying, and most importantly, tired of not living the life she wanted.
“Why aren’t I enough?” she asked, tears pooling in her blue eyes. She thought she’d cried herself out between binging Oreos, yet here she was bawling like a leaky ship.
Alice draped her arm over her shoulder, pulling her to her side. “Oh honey, you are more than enough. Maybe it’s time to really talk to Beckett. You gave me the same advice last year, and I’d say it turned out great.”
Mallory wiped at her face and elbowed her friend. “This is a really bad time to rub your hot, successful boyfriend in my face, you know.”
Alice shrugged. “Oh, come on. Maybe just a little?”
Mallory chuckled, unable to hold her frown. “Fine, you can be happy. And you know I am happy for you, right?”
“Yes, but we’re not here to talk about me. We’re here to get to the bottom of your Beckett conundrum.”
“Can’t I just live here and hide away from my life for a while?”
Alice cocked her head, pretending to mull it over. “Sure. I’ll just tell James to start charging you rent when the wine rack is empty.”
“Deal.”
Rubbing Mallory’s back, Alice nibbled on her lip.
“Uh oh, I know that look. You’re about to drop some wisdom on me.”
“Maybe, but I had a thought.”
“Hit me with it already. I need answers, and you’re the only woman for the job.”
Alice huffed. “What a scary thought.”
“Stop selling yourself short, Ms. Future-Best-Selling-Author.” She loved her friend dearly, but Mallory knew Alice could get down on herself. She was funny, accomplished, and brilliant, but that didn’t stop her anxiety from showing.
“Pfft.” Alice waved off her friend’s kindness. “Hear me out, what if Beckett is afraid of failing you? It could be that he’s so stuck in his head that he can’t see the forest for the trees. He obviously broke your heart before, and it’s possible he doesn’t want to do it again.”
“Then why kiss me? Why make promises he doesn’t intend to keep?”
Alice shrugged, a very unhelpful movement that Mallory hated. “I think he does intend to keep his promise, but he knows he might lose his best friend in the process. After losing the last of his family, maybe the poor man wants to protect his heart?”
“But I don’t think Evan would cut Beckett off! If we were happy, then he would be happy.”
Alice raised an eyebrow, daring her friend to read her mind. “Um, if that’s the case, why haven’tyousaid anything to him? From where I’m sitting, you might be just as bad as Beckett with lying to your brother.”
“Okay, now I need you to be a little nicer.” Mallory grimaced, knowing full well her friend was right. She had no leg to stand on when it came to giving Evan the truth. Both his best friend and sister were lying to him, and it wasn’t right. It wasn’t how they were—the Lawsons were better than that. And frankly, so was Beckett.
“I’m not saying things with Anthony have always been smooth sailing,” Alice started with a sigh, “but I know that over the last two years, we’ve gotten a lot closer, and that’s because we’re being honest.” She snorted and added, “Still snarky as hell, but honest.”
“I need to tell Evan, don’t I?”
Alice took her hand and squeezed it. “I think you both need to tell him. But first, you need to confirm with Beckettwhatyou’re going to tell him. If you guys are just having a little fun, then it’s probably not worth rocking the boat. But if you’re serious about each other, and it sounds like you are, then sit down with him and spell it out. I’m sure you’ve been through more than this, and Evan will want to know.”
“Dammit, you’re right.”
“It’s surprising, I know.”
James emerged from the studio, a streak of blue paint on his cheek. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’m heading to bed.” He ducked down to kiss Alice on the forehead before turning to Mallory. “I’m sure Alice already told you, but the guest room is yours. I’ll see you girls in the morning.”
Alice swatted his butt as he walked past and shouted, “I love you.”
“Love you more,” he returned over his shoulder.
