Page 29 of Forever to Fall
CHAPTER 9
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Mallory had a concussion. That was the only plausible explanation for the dreamscape playing out in front of her. She sat in one of her favorite places with the man of her dreams, and could still taste him on her lips. That kiss had been core-shaking, bringing her to the brink of insanity—of a meltdown. Every cell in her body was on fire and begging for more.
How was Beckett so calm right now? Not only was the world ending outside, but they were casually eating like they hadn’t just made out like teenagers. God, that kiss. It was hungry and filled with years of tension and longing. That couldn’t all have been one-sided, right? He instigated, so clearly he was into her.
Didn’t he feel this? Was that kiss the result of too much pain meds and the adrenaline of the day? Why wasn’t he spiraling down the rabbit hole like she was? Pulling her briefly from her musings, she felt the warmth of his hand in hers.
Beckett held her hand as he shoveled his second helping of chili fries into his mouth. His thumb gently caressed over her knuckles while he ate like he had been on a deserted island for centuries. And to think, just ten minutes before he was devouring her like that.
She watched him, willing him to say something perfect, something romantic to prove he felt this connection between them. Instead, he turned to her and asked, “Are you going to eat that ranch dressing?”
Mallory couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. The last weeks’ worth of muddled emotions spilled out of her in hysterical laughter. Beckett’s grasp on her hand loosened and she pulled free to dab at her eyes with a crumpled napkin.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, clearly alarmed by her outburst. His mouth hung open so wide, she could have shoved the entire bottle of ranch dressing inside.
Mallory propelled the chair back with a clatter, striding to the sink for a glass of cold water. After chugging half the contents in one go, she let out a long exhale and leaned back on the counter. Once again, he asked, “What’s wrong, Mal?”
Her mouth opened to reply, but she didn’t have the words. Technically, nothing was wrong. She was eating one of her favorite meals and had just had the best kiss of her life, but there was still so much that needed to be said, so much that needed to happen, before she’d feel completely at peace with their kiss.
Waving her arms around her, Mallory scoffed. “How are you not freaking out right now?”
Beckett frowned, looking outside the kitchen window at the roaring storm. “It’ll blow off soon. We’re safe here.”
“Are we?” she shrieked. Gesturing wildly between them she added, “What did that mean?”
“Huh?” Beckett tossed his napkin on the table and struggled to stand. He attempted weight on both legs before wobbling like a toddler.
She took a step closer and gently pushed on his shoulders, keeping him seated. “Don’t get up. You need to stay off your feet for a few days.”
“Then you come over here and tell me what the hell is going on.”
“You start,” she countered, easing back into her seat and facing Beckett. She adopted her ‘Nurse Lawson’ face, as her coworkers called it. Her stern expression had cut through the nonsense in the ER, yet now it didn’t seem to have the desired effect. She wanted answers, or at least a vague explanation to keep her from needing an overnight stay at the psych unit.
His head dipped for a moment while he collected his thoughts. When he raised his head, his glasses were crooked, matching his sheepish grin. “I’m guessing this is about the kiss and not your undying Midwestern love for ranch dressing?”
Mallory snorted. “You could say that.”
Beckett reached out with his good hand, snagging hers and keeping it in a vise grip. “I hope I didn’t upset you, but I had to do it.”
Mallory was incredulous. After the last two years, she couldn’t believe her ears.Maybe he did have a concussion?“Youhadto?”
Beckett gave a firm nod before soldiering on. “I had to, Mal. I don’t know if it’s just the craziness of today, of having you here in the farm house, or the last two years of guilt, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend you don’t drive me crazy. I can’t pretend that I don’t want to be with you.”
