Page 40 of Poppy Kisses
The disturbing conclusion was that he was my type. I liked him. I wanted him. If we didn’t have a five-foot, bleached-blonde piece of baggage between us who was the mother of his kid, I’d be all over this. I’d be hauling him to bed instead of trying to outrun him in his own home.
“I’m not what?” he asked. I was going to retreat another step, but his gaze was searching. “Talk to me, Poppy. Please.”
The please did me in. “I’ve known you most of my life.” When he nodded, I nodded. He was listening, and I’d forge ahead, hoping he didn’t want to break the deal when I was done. “That whole time, Jensen, you were all about Hassie. You compared me to her in a way that made me feel like she was better, she was prettier, she was more desirable. Then you married her—and if I was still around, I would’ve been happy for you. Of all people, I knew how much you were into her. And I know you’re not married anymore, but the thing is, I’ve never known you not to be into her. Where there was Jensen Hollis, there was his obsession with Hassie Heart.”
Color leached from his face. “I’m not that guy anymore.”
I didn’t know that. I poked my chest with a finger. “But this girl? Remembers. The competitive part of me remembers that there was one game I’d never win and that was the comparison game with Hassie. You made sure I knew I’d never live up to her. I’d never be as pretty, and you’d never like me like you liked her. We might’ve been just kids, but that shit stuck with me. For years, Jensen, you compared me to her, and I lost every single time. It was a game I couldn’t win, and it’s one I’ve quit playing.”
With that, I walked around him. No running. No sprinting. He wanted the truth and he got it. I should feel lighter, but I didn’t. Sadness perched on my shoulders.
Just before I shut the bedroom door, his words reached me. “I lost that game too.”
ChapterNine
Jensen
Poppy’s words kept me up all night. How the hell did I come back from that? The destroyed look in her eyes gutted me. But damn, it answered so many questions. Why she would get skittish around me. Why she was guarded and kept her distance. Why she hadn’t been honest.
There was one thing she couldn’t lie about, and it was that kiss. The way she’d opened up and let me in. The way she’d responded. I wasn’t imagining the connection between us, but just because it was there didn’t mean she wanted it.
…you compared me to her, and I lost every single time.
Ouch. I was the biggest asshole alive. Was I why she put up with men like Dillon? Would she take an Elijah over a nice guy who admired her powerful body, her sharp brain, and who couldn’t quit daydreaming about her wet T-shirt?
I had been an obnoxious kid, and now I wasn’t, but she’d had to live with the impact of it. No wonder she hadn’t been thrilled to see me on the other end of the computer. While I’d been nostalgic and eager to learn who today’s Poppy was, she’d been waiting for me to demean her in some way.
Shit.
I rolled out of bed and scrubbed my hands down my face. I had some sanding to get done before Mom dropped off Auggie. When I went to the bathroom, Poppy’s bedroom door was closed. I didn’t expect her to be awake with a smile, but that damn panel of wood only served as a reminder. It remained shut when I was done cleaning up. I made some coffee, grabbed some breakfast, and went to the shop.
After working for a few hours, I lost track of how often I peeked out the door to see if I could spy movement in the house. Even Luna quit getting up to follow me to the window.
I finished some doors I was sanding and staining for one of Mom’s friends and picked up my tools. I had some computer work to do that I’d been putting off. Time to see if I could pay bills this month or not. Each year, my expenses got higher. My work should be able to speak for itself, but if I couldn’t speak for it, how did I expect others to?
I had two queries. One asking for an estimate and the other telling me they loved my work in a home I’d done eighteen months ago. They wanted to hire me. I couldn’t fuck this up.
I texted Poppy before I could ask myself if she really wanted to hear from me.
Jensen: Hey got a potential client don’t want to fuck up. Can you come to the shop
I was getting warnings about my punctuation but I let it go. I wasn’t beneath using my lack of punctuation to lure Poppy out of hiding.
Poppy: Just a minute.
Triumph and relief left me grinning at the dog. “Fuck yeah, Luna. It worked.”
She lifted her head, looked around, and went back to sleep.
I couldn’t focus on a thing until I heard her footsteps crunching across the gravel a few minutes later.
She slowly leaned in through the open door, her expression impassive.
“Wasn’t sure you’d help,” I said. I wasn’t teasing. It was time for more honesty and less competition. But I still had to be careful. She was skittish and it was my fault.
“We have a deal.” Her face was expressionless as she crossed the shop. Her hair was pulled back and she was dressed in leggings and a snug, zipped-up top, curves on display. I drank her in as discreetly as I could. The only thing that prompted a smile was the dog’s thumping tail. She was all business when her attention returned to me.
I shifted the laptop so she could see the screen. “I wrote a reply email. And I followed the prompts of that program you installed, but I have to make sure this is right. This job could be a sure thing.”
