Page 96 of Winterset
“I overheard what you said to Charlie last night,” she said. “While you were dressing for dinner,” she clarified as if it were not already painfully clear what conversation she was referring to. I tried to recall exactly what was said and then, remembering, decided I’d rathernotremember. I trained my gaze on the priest treasure.
“Why did you tell Charlie not to pursue me?” she asked softly.
Was she asking because she wanted him to pursue her? Or was she asking because she wanted to know my motive for asking him not to?Iwas confused about my motive for doing so, so it stood to reason that she would be too. But I had a history of not reading women well. I tried to gauge her thoughts, but her expression was inscrutable. “Does it bother you that I asked him not to?”
As soon as I’d asked the question, I wanted to snatch it back because I was not sure I would like her answer.
But then, ever so slowly, she shook her head. “No,” she said finally, and I felt like I could breathe again. “But I would like to know why.”
“Youknowwhy.” My gaze sank to her lips.
We sat only a breath away from each other; it would be so easy to kiss her. I wanted to—the devil, I wanted to—but what didshewant?
I didn’t know for certain.
And until I did, I had no right kissing her. There was too much unsaid between us. She’d heard our conversation so she must know something about how I felt for her. But I didn’t know what was in her heart. I didn’t want to do the wrong thing again and scare her away. Worse, what if she felt shehadto kiss me in order to stay here? The thought made me feel sick.
I sat back at the same time she closed her eyes and leaned toward me.
I wanted to lean in too. I wanted to kiss her. But it wasn’t right yet. It took every ounce of my resolve, but I managed to say, “We should return downstairs.”
“Oh.” Kate’s breath caught, and her eyes snapped open. She promptly sat back, her cheeks bright red. “Forgive me, Mr. Jennings,” she said, looking at the ground.
“There is no need. Kate, I—”
“I forgot myself for a moment,” she pressed on. “I promise it won’t happen again.”
Oh, how I hoped that were not the case.
She stood and retreated toward the door.
“Please, wait a moment,” I said softly, but she sharply shook her head and continued toward the door.
“Kate,” I called after her, but she did not stop.
I wanted to run after her, to pull her into my arms and kiss her so soundly that we both forgot these past few moments.
But I couldn’t.
Well, I could, but I wouldn’t. I cared for her too much to treat her so selfishly. So I stood there and watched her go.
Kate
Sitting on the window seatin my bedchamber, I glanced out the window. The sun had set, and soon Oliver’s guests would arrive. I’d avoided Oliver for several days. It wasn’t hard to do, seeing as how busy he was working on Winterset, and tonight, I would be hiding in the attic, so I would not see him.
I didn’t regret admitting that I’d overheard his conversation, but I did feel foolish for leaning in to kiss him. For wanting the very same thing he’d warned Charlie not to want with me: a relationship.
How could I not? He was kind and charming and handsome. He was honorable and hardworking. He was everything a man should be. Everything I wanted.
When we had sat in the attic together, I’d thought he wanted me too. He’d knelt so near me that our arms had been touching. He’d gazed so deeply into my eyes and at my lips. Perhaps he did want me but had more sense to stop himself than I. How could we be together when I could not even show my face in Society? I had not been thinking about that when I’d leaned in to kiss him.
Logically, I knew nothing could happen between us. Oliver was my host and my protector. And I was what? His guest? His ghost? How had I forgotten our situation so completely? How humiliating! How could I ever hope to look at his handsome face again?
I didn’t know then, and two days of rumination had only made my mind more tangled.
With a sigh, I stood and started gathering the things I needed for the attic: my warmest shawl, my candlestick, and a book. I was halfway to the door when I heard footfalls coming down the corridor. Strong, sturdy footfalls that stopped right in front of my door.
Oliver?
