Page 4 of Blade
I was so tired and in pain that I didn’t trust my reaction to him. But here we are, in his office, and my reaction to him today is even stronger.
He’s still holding my chin and gaze with an intensity I’ve never known. The word spank resonates in my ears over and over. My breathing is heavier. I can’t shake the feeling. Part of me wants to turn over across his lap and let him spank me. Is that what he meant? Over his knees?
What on Earth is wrong with me?
“June… Honey, I need information so I’ll know what I’m dealing with. The fact that you came all the way here this morning tells me this is important to you. It can’t have been easy for you to get dressed, let alone arrange for an Uber and brave the busy lobby downstairs.”
I swallow, shaking off thoughts of his palm on my bottom. “My ex,” I explain poorly.
He flinches. “Ex…boyfriend?”
I cringe. “Husband, and I guess he’s not really an ex because he refused to sign the divorce papers.”
Blade’s jaw tightens. “How long have you been separated?”
“Three years.”
His brows lift, and his voice rises. “The man hasn’t signed divorce papers in three years?”
I shake my head.
“I can get those papers signed. Are you hiding from him?”
“Yes,” I mutter.
“Tell me more, June. I need you to tell me everything. I can and will help you and keep you safe, but I need all the information you have.”
“I can’t afford you,” I remind him, wincing as soon as the words leave my mouth. He said…
Spank.
Jesus.
Spank.
Blade draws in a deep breath as though trying to control his reaction to my words. Not in a way that scares me. He doesn’t give me any vibes that he could be dangerous. Not with me. Not with any woman, I suspect. He wants to spank me for…disobeying him.
I’m a people pleaser. I always have been. If I hadn’t been such a wussy pleaser, I never would have gotten married in the first place, nor would I have let Pete boss me around, take over my life, and destroy me. It took me a long time to find a spine, and I’ll never go back to being the kind of woman who has no backbone.
One side of my head is screaming at me not to let Blade intimidate me. The other side insists that’s not what he’s doing. It’s something else. Something I don’t have words for.
It’s been years since I read a romance novel. I used to read them all the time, especially after I moved out of Seattle with Pete and had nothing better to do with my free time than read. I hid my addiction to erotic books from my asshole husband because he didn’t approve, but it wasn’t hard. I downloaded books from the library or anywhere I could find that was free. I didn’t have a credit card, nor could I have used one without him asking questions, but I was resourceful at finding books without him knowing.
Instead of reprimanding me again, Blade settles in the loveseat and gently nestles me against his chest. He rubs my back again and…holy shit, kisses the top of my head.
He doesn’t say a word about my mention of finances yet again.
Three
June
* * *
I take deep breaths as I let myself relax against Blade. I feel like I can tell him things I’ve never told anyone but my counselors. It’s necessary if he’s going to have the entire picture.
Finally, I find myself talking. I start from way back. “My father was abusive to my mother. He eventually went to prison and died there from pneumonia. No love lost. My mother lived with chronic pain from all the times he beat her, especially from the time he broke two of her vertebrae. She committed suicide when I was eighteen. I think she had been waiting for me to be an adult. I was sad, but I couldn’t blame her.”
Blade doesn’t make me look at him. He keeps rubbing my back. “I’m so sorry, Little one. I guess you had to grow up fast.”
