Page 87 of Her Lion of a Duke
It was a risk, and he could not bear the thought of her turning him away.
And yet the thought of never seeing her again hurt him even more.
“I know that she can be difficult,” Beatrice sighed. “I know that she is stubborn and difficult to reason with. I have had my own disagreements with her, but you should know that there is no malice in her heart. She only ever acts if she thinks it is fair, which is why she feels so deeply wronged when she is told she has misstepped. Even so, you make her happy, Your Grace. She has changed since the wedding, and it has been for the better.”
“I do not see why that would be the case. I am quite certain that I have made her miserable. Why else would she have left without telling anyone where to find her?”
“How many places could she be? You know her. She goes where she is needed, which means that someone needs her right now. I am rather surprised that she did not come to me. With how concerned my friends have been about me, I expected her to be the next one to try and convince me to find a match of my own.”
“May I ask you why you have not done so?” he asked hesitantly.
Leonard knew that it was rather impolite, but he was curious. Cecilia had not wanted to marry at all, but from what he knew, Beatrice was open to it. He did not understand why she did not have a husband, given that she was pretty and gentle, as well as very talented.
“You may ask.” She nodded. “You see, I am not against marriage at all. As a girl, I dreamed of my wedding day. Then, I spent my life watching the other ladies be taken to the dance floor. They were all courted and complimented and wanted, and I was there, on the periphery of ballrooms. I thought that one day, a gentleman would see me and my friends, and he would noticemefirst. That man would be the one, I thought, because I have very beautiful and talented friends. So if he noticed me first, it had to be fate.”
She laughed sadly, reaching for a slice of cake and then seeming to think better of it.
“Is that to say you never tried?”
“Heavens, no. I would only be laughed at, the way Cecilia used to laugh at those gentlemen. I am not the sort of lady that a man wants to see approaching him.”
“That is not true! You should know that the gentlemen I know regard you quite highly.”
“As a friend, perhaps, but not as a wife. I understand, of course. Some ladies are meant to be seen as fierce and independent, some as wives, and some as acquaintances. I am the third type, and while I am disappointed, I cannot say that I am surprised.”
Leonard’s heart hurt to see a sweet lady think so little of herself, but there was no arguing with her. It was evident that she had spent years holding onto those beliefs, and he could not change that with one conversation.
“You ought to begin your search,” she urged, her lips curling into a smile. “I would not leave her alone for too long, for the more time she spends by herself, the more she will try to detach herself. And believe me, you do not want that.”
“I certainly do not,” he agreed, rising to his feet, before he paused. “Though it is rather late. It would be dangerous for both of us to make the journey now.”
“I must return home,” she said quietly, blushing. “My parents do not know where I am. They believe that I am at a ball with my chaperone.”
“Do they not accompany you?”
“Not anymore, no. They see it as a waste of time. I have been attending events alone for a few weeks now.”
“Is that why you did not want the Duke and Duchess of Lupton to accompany you?”
She turned a deep scarlet, and he knew that he was right.
“You must not tell them. I did not want them to worry about me.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” he promised. “Everything will be different next Season. You will be accompanied by all of us, whether you like it or not. If Cecilia knew the position you were in?—”
“She would have felt guilty about marrying someone. Believe me, Your Grace, I understand how my friends feel about me, but I am more than capable of doing this alone.”
“I do not doubt that, but that does not mean we wish to see it, nor to know that it is happening. You have come here to give me the clarity I have so desperately needed, so it is only fair that I help you in return.”
She smiled softly and thanked him quietly.
“Come,” he said firmly. “I shall take you home, and then I shall find Cecilia and bring her home.”
“That is all she wants. I am certain of it.”
Leonard hoped, as they climbed into the carriage, that she was right. Because if Cecilia did not want to come home, it would kill him.
CHAPTER 30
