Page 69 of Her Lion of a Duke
She had planned to tell Leonard everything the night before. She was going to swallow her fear and tell him the truth about Felix Gray, but before she could do so, he had told her about his visions. When he asked her to go to his study, she expected him to tell her that he knew the truth, that he hated her and wanted her to leave.
What she had not expected was for him to reveal what had been happening to him for years. She was, of course, completely taken aback by what she had heard. It was bizarre, but that was not what was important. What mattered was that her husband needed her, and so she was there.
It was also a convenient way to keep the truth from him for a short while longer.
“I am going to visit Beatrice,” she announced at breakfast. “I must speak with her about the Season, as it is coming to an end, and she still has no suitors.”
“And it has nothing to do with what we discussed last night?”
She let out a soft sigh.“Not at all. I would have asked you to accompany me, but it is not a conversation that Beatrice would like you to hear. She is staying at her family home for a few days, and it is only a short carriage ride away. I will be back by dinner.”
Leonard nodded, and that was that.
While it was true that Beatrice had yet to attract any suitors, that was not why Cecilia was going to see her. Beatrice did not even know that she would be arriving within the hour, but Cecilia could not wait any longer.
“Cecilia?” Beatrice asked upon seeing her in the drawing room. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you,” Cecilia said quickly. “I know you might be busy, but it is urgent.”
“I always have time for you,” Beatrice assured, taking a seat beside her. “Shall I send for tea?”
“You can, but I will not be able to eat anything. Oh, Bea, I have been such a fool.”
Cecilia leaned forward, dropping her head in her hands. Beatrice started, but then placed a tentative hand on her shoulder, which Cecilia was grateful for.
“Whatever it is, it is better for you to talk about it. I am pleased that you are here.”
Cecilia tilted her head back and focused on the intricate carvings in the ceiling while she composed herself.
“Suppose that you made a mistake,” she began, her eyes still fixed on the ceiling. “It was a terrible mistake, the worst of your life, and there is nothing you can do to change it. Also, suppose that you made it years ago, and you have changed ever since. What would you do?”
“Are you talking about yourself?”
Cecilia gave her a look, and Beatrice winced, nodding for her to continue.
“Say, for example, that others will soon find out what you did, and there is nothing you can do or say to make it better. If that were you, would you tell the truth?”
Beatrice was quiet for a moment, and then she sent for some tea. The silence stretched between them.
Cecilia wondered just what her friend was thinking. Beatrice was underestimated by most, as they thought she was a shy, plumpyoung lady who did not know how to speak for herself. But Cecilia knew better.
Beatrice would be sterner with her than anyone else she knew, besides Leonard.
When the tea arrived, Beatrice poured two cups and handed one to Cecilia pointedly.
Cecilia took a sip reluctantly.
“Does this mean that you are finally going to tell me the truth?” Beatrice asked.
“I have no choice.”
“You are Felix Gray, aren’t you?”
Cecilia could admit it out loud, so she nodded.
“You wrote the essay about murdering for inheritance,” Beatrice continued, her eyes widening. “Your husband!”
“I know,” Cecilia groaned. “He has a private investigator searching for Felix Gray because of the rumors the essays triggered, and all this time, it has been me. I need to tell him, I know, but every time I try to, something happens. He thinks it is his cousin, Lord Renshaw.”
