Page 28 of Her Lion of a Duke
It was evident that she was holding back, trying to keep to herself, and Emma noticed it more than anyone. Beatrice was grateful that she had not said anything until nighttime, when they were alone together.
“Did their cook not want your assistance?” Emma asked gently, entering her bedchambers.
“I did not see her in the end,” Beatrice replied sheepishly. “Cecilia saw me, and we… well, it was not a dispute exactly, but it was not pleasant either.”
“Do not worry about it,” Emma murmured, smiling. “You know how Cecilia is. She has opinions. Many, in fact. But just because she defends them ardently does not mean that she dislikes you.”
“But Emma, what if we found out… This is not necessarily the case, but assume she was keeping something from us. What would we do?”
“Well, everyone has secrets, Bea. Cecilia has the right to keep some things for herself, even if it would be better if we knew.”
“But say it was something dangerous, something that would mean we saw her differently. How would you feel about that?”
Emma considered for a moment, leaning on a chair. “I do not think there is anything about Cecilia that would make me see her differently. We have been friends for so long that nothing could affect my opinion of her. She will always be my friend.”
Beatrice nodded, wishing she could divulge more.
She was not as close with Emma as they had only known one another for a year before Emma got married and left London, except for the social season. However, she knew that Emma and Cecilia were close. They were most similar, and if Emma said that Cecilia had not changed over the years, then Beatrice had to accept it.
“I know this is not easy for you,” Emma said softly. “I know that you will be out in Society alone now, but we will all be with you. Levi and I will be returning to London after this trip, and we shall ensure that you have company.”
“I am perfectly fine. Besides, I have Clara now, and…” Beatrice trailed off, knowing that she did want to have her friends with her.
Clara was a sweet girl and a good friend, but she would undoubtedly find a match of her own before the year was through, and Beatrice dreaded the thought of being left alone.
“Everything will be all right,” Emma promised. “You and I both know that you will find a husband easily once you try. Cecilia’s marriage was a surprise for us all, but I truly hope that you will take this as a sign that it is time to find your own match.”
“Gentlemen do not like me,” Beatrice whispered. “I am a good friend to them, but they do not think that I would make a good wife.”
“Beatrice Jennings, you are a beautiful young lady who has never spoken out of turn. Not only that, but you make incredible cakes. I can assure you that there is a gentleman in London searching for that, but you will never know because you are unwilling to speak to anyone. If I have to spend the entirety of my time in London forcing you to try, then so be it.”
Beatrice laughed softly, thanking her friend and then subtly hinting that she wished to sleep.
Emma did not argue, leaving her alone, and Beatrice lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She wished that she could simply enjoy her visit, but it was a constant reminder that she had fallen behind. Though her friends supported her, she knew that a time would come when they would have no choice but to leave her behind.
The following morning, she passed Cecilia in the hallway on her way to breakfast and lowered her head, looking at the floor.
“I wanted to apologize,” Cecilia offered, drawing her to a halt. “I should not have spoken to you so harshly yesterday. I understand that you have questions, and I suppose I did not give you much choice about finding the answers by yourself.”
“It is all right. I should not have gone into your room. Yesterday did not have anything to do with you and everything to do with me. If you are telling me that you are not keeping anything from me, then I will believe you.”
Cecilia smiled, linking arms with her, and they went to breakfast together as though nothing had happened. Beatrice simply hoped that her friend was being honest.
CHAPTER 10
When Cecilia’s friends returned home, she felt an immense guilt that was impossible to ignore.
She hoped that she had been a good host and that they had all enjoyed their time at the manor, but she was also quite aware that the Season was drawing to a close, meaning that she had spent a week away from her friend and cousin. She shuddered at the thought and discussed it with Leonard as they ate their lunch.
“They would not have visited if they did not have the time,” he reasoned. “They would not have been permitted. Besides, being associated with a duke will only improve their prospects. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.”
Cecilia nodded, smiling as she took a loaf of bread and tore it into pieces, but she did not believe him.
It was difficult to, when she knew the truth. Beatrice had difficulty speaking to people, and though Emma and her husband would be there to chaperone her, there was only so much they could do.
If Cecilia were still there, she would have forced her friend’s hand, so that she would realize that there was nothing to be afraid of and enjoy herself at last.
“I hope that they enjoy the rest of their time,” she said quietly. “I suppose I had always thought that I would be the one left, and that I would be the one to find them matches. I feel rather useless, looking back, because I had no hand in any marriages at all.”
