Page 35 of Her Lion of a Duke
That was why she did not tell him about her feelings. Or so she told herself.
“I would love to join you. Might we ride the horses?”
Leonard nodded, and when they had finished eating, they left to prepare for their outing.
It had been a long time since Cecilia had ridden a horse, but it was something she had excelled at. She wondered, as her boots were being laced, if that was why she had suggested it to begin with. To impress Leonard. But then she shook the thought out of her mind.
She never tried to impress anyone, and she was not going to start simply because she liked her husband.
They had only just reached the stables when the rain started falling.
It was light at first, the droplets sticking to Cecilia’s updo and leaving spots on her attire. She hardly noticed it and remained standing outside. Then, it grew heavier. The spots became patches, and her hair became soaked. Leonard, who had been standing inside the stables, called out to her, laughing incredulously.
She followed him into the stables, stroking the horses’ manes and looking out at the gardens. The sky darkened, the clouds turning a menacing gray.
“Perhaps we could wait until the rain stops?” Leonard suggested.
“That might be best, although I do not know when that will be. Shall we return home?”
“Better to wait until it eases up. It may not be far to the house, but I don’t want to risk you catching a cold.”
Cecilia nodded reluctantly, knowing that it was most unlikely that such a short walk would make her fall ill, but grateful that he valued her health.
They remained in the stables for a moment, waiting for the rain to cease.
Suddenly, thunder boomed overhead, and the rain grew heavier. They watched as it poured, and she giggled at their predicament.
It was then that she noticed the folly nearby. Without thinking, she took his hand and pulled him out into the downpour, yelping from the cold.
“Cecilia, what are you?—”
“Come with me!” she called, and he obliged.
They reached the folly quickly and hid inside. It was sturdier than the stables, and they were able to crouch down against the walls to block the wind. They laughed breathlessly, listening as it whistled above them.
“Did you ever want to be a duke?” she asked.
She did not know why she was asking him, but it felt like the right time. She had always wondered if men wanted their roles to be any more than those of the ladies they married, and Leonard was the best person to ask.
His face hardened for a moment, but then he sighed, softening again. Cecilia realized that they were still holding hands, and he did not release hers.
“To this day, I do not know,” he confessed. “I do not know what I wanted. Sometimes, as a boy, I would watch my father do these great things, and I would allow myself to think about the sort of duke I would be, but I would always stop myself.”
“Why? Weren’t you allowed to have dreams as a boy?”
“It was only a thought, never a dream. Besides, I always knew that it would be Henry who would become the Duke of Pridefield. He would marry and produce an heir, and I would have nothing to do with any of it. I was the spare, so to speak, in case the worst happened. Which I suppose it did.”
She gently squeezed his hand, unsure what to say, given the circumstances of his brother’s death.
“As a man, I envied him greatly,” he continued. “I thought it was unfair that he was given the responsibility and the reward, while I was given the scraps. I was aimless, having no purpose beyond being the brother Society overlooked. I was not important, and I so badly wanted to be.”
“And now you are.”
“And now I am,” he agreed, staring at nothing in particular. “I realized quite quickly that I did not want it. It was selfish of me to envy Henry the way I did. I should have enjoyed my freedom when I had it, rather than wanting more.”
“Is that to say that you do not want any of this?”
“Well, over the past years, I have found the good in it. I have a reason for being now, and I am good at what I do. My new duties also distracted me a good deal after I lost Henry. He was the last remaining member of my family, so when he died, I was left alone. I had friends, yourself included, but…”
