Page 10 of Her Lion of a Duke
“I am happy enough. I’ll have security and freedom, and that is far more than most young ladies have. Even so, I feel like I am not being the person I am meant to be. Does that make sense?”
“Of course. None of us is ever truly able to be who we are, but that is the price we must pay. Given all of the luxuries we have in return, it is worth it, would you not agree?”
Cecilia looked at herself again. Her frown aside, she did look lovely. Her gown was plain, but it was a perfect fit, and she liked it far more than she would have if she had one of the more elaborate gowns designed by the modiste.
Ignoring how she felt, she did at least look like a bride. Nobody would know that anything was amiss, as long as she played the part well.
She took a deep breath, knowing that she had never pretended to be someone she was not.
The wedding came and went without much ceremony. There was no fanfare, no kiss, and hardly any applause. She said her vows, and Leonard said his, and then they were pronounced man and wife.
It was strange to look at her friend and know that he was her husband. He was not the worst choice, but she had never expected to have a husband at all.
During the brief breakfast afterward, chatter rippled around them. Mercifully, none of it was about the wedding. She never truly enjoyed hearing idle gossip, but it was a welcome distraction at that moment.
“Congratulations, Your Grace,” many guests said to her, and she did the dutiful thing and thanked them each time.
There were, of course, whispers of what their marriage truly meant. Neither of them wanted love, and so they had found each other. It was not unheard of, and there was not very much judgment passed about it, which Cecilia was thankful for. It meant that Clara’s reputation was restored and that her actions would no longer harm her.
Leonard did not say anything to her. She did not mind, as she did not say anything to him either. When she looked at him, her words lodged in her throat.
She wished that they could speak to one another as they always had, but something had already changed between them. She hoped that it would improve with time, but she had no way of knowing for certain, and it made her chest ache.
His hand brushed against hers while reaching for a cup, and they both froze. Their eyes met, and she wondered what he was thinking. The moment stretched on a little too long, and Cecilia pulled away with a polite smile.
At last, Leonard cleared his throat.
“You did well,” he commented. “And you look nice.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “You did well, too. We are rather good at acting, eh?”
“Indeed. Do you wish to stay here much longer?”
“I do not mind. Will we be returning to the townhouse?”
“Not immediately. We will be expected to be on our honeymoon, so it might be better if we go to the manor. It is not far.”
“I know. I have been there before.”
She had meant to be playful, but the words had left her lips in a dismissive tone.
“Very well. We shall leave soon. Perhaps you might wish to speak with your friends? I know that I would like to speak with the Duke of Lupton.”
Cecilia nodded, and a short while later, she was with all three of her friends, and they were talking and laughing as if nothing had changed. That was until Dorothy gave her a knowing look.
“It is about time that the two of you admitted your feelings.”
Emma nudged her, but Dorothy did not seem to care.
“What do you mean?” Cecilia asked.
“We have all known since that house party all those years ago that there was something between the two of you.”
“No, you have not. There has never been anything to notice, for we are friends. You all know that I never intended to marry.”
“No,” Emma said gently, “but you must admit that, if your hand were forced, you would have chosen His Grace.”
“He is the least objectionable man, yes, but that does not mean I am pleased about any of this.”
