Page 54 of Wickedly Yours
“I have been very angry for a very long time, Jemma. For a variety of reasons, none of which I will further bore you with. But Nick was all I had in the world. My brother, who was my strength,” she halted, “my safe harbor, became despondent at the news of your death. I could not protect him from the pain of your loss. I’ve never felt so powerless.” Arabella turned away from her for a moment, remembering Nick locking himself in his study for days, the pile of empty whiskey bottles outside the door the only sign that he still lived. “I cannot express to you the terror I felt that my brother would do himself harm. I feared he would follow you to the grave.Nick.The Devil of Dunbar. And then to find the Jem he grieved was the traitor’s daughter who miraculously returned from the dead.” Arabella looked away. “I have never felt such betrayal in my life, nor such fear that you would destroy my brother. I was ripe for manipulation when I met the Corbetts.”
She looked back to her sister-in-law. Jemma had paled and her eyes were wet with tears.
“I am not making any excuses for my behavior, for there are none to be had.” Arabella continued. “But I truly thought I was acting in Nick’s best interests, in my own selfish way. I was afraid I would lose him, that you would harm him in some way and—”
“Stop.” Jemma brushed a tear from her cheek and turned away. “That is a time I can no longer speak of without weeping. You are not the only one that has made foolish choices fueled by pain and bitterness. If you know nothing else, know that I love Nick, with all of my heart. I will have no one hurt him again. Not me or you.Anyone.” Her voice grew hard.
“I did not mean to upset you.” Arabella’s voice shook. Since her return from Wales she had observed her sister-in-law and knew how much Jemma loved Nick. “I was wrong about you and I am truly, deeply sorry. I was…” She hesitated slightly. “…someone else then.”
Jemma sat still for the longest time, dabbing at her eyes with the same cloth she’d been cleaning the pistols with earlier. “I accept your apology, Arabella. I do not know if we can ever be friends, but at the very least, we have no need to be enemies.”
A weight lifted from Arabella’s shoulders.
“I believe, Arabella, that marriage to my cousin agrees with you.”
“Indeed.” She was not about to get into a discussion of her marriage to Rowan with Jemma. “I bid you good day, Your Grace.”
“Good day, Lady Malden.” Her sister-in-law wiped another tear off her cheek, then began to polish the handle of her pistol in earnest.
* * *
Arabella sat backagainst the leather seat of her carriage with a sigh of relief. The conversation with her sister-in-law had stirred up her emotions, and God knows her thoughts were in a constant state of upheaval. Life had been much simpler when it had been just she and Nick with occasional visits from Aunt Maisy or Miranda.
She rapped on the roof of the coach. “Bond Street.”
Arabella was quite wealthy, something she’d never given much thought to. She had gobs of money and rarely spent any of it, finding such a pursuit to be frivolous. But not today. Aunt Maisy declared shopping to be a wonderful way to pass the time particularly when a problem picked at one’s mind. Arabella had to agree.
The carriage rolled to a stop at the far corner of the street and Arabella stepped out, giving a nod to the young groom to follow at a discreet distance. Rowan would be furious to know she’d gone out and about with no escort, only a boy barely able to shave, to tote her packages. But just now, Arabella was in a rebellious mood. If she must be in love with her husband, so be it, but being a completely obedient wife held no appeal for Arabella. Besides, she’d had enough of Rowan’s family for one day.
Strolling along, she purchased new gloves for both herself and Rowan, as well as a lovely coin purse for Aunt Maisy, to replace the one taken by Corbett. Next, she stopped at Thrumbadge’s, the booksellers. Speaking directly to the clerk, she purchased a copy ofExperimental Researches in Electricityby the scientist Michael Faraday. Rowan loved technology although his current passion was steam and railroads. Arabella was willing to bet he would find Faraday’s work to be of interest. She had read several of Faraday’s articles and found his research fascinating.
Humming to herself, she paid the clerk and handed her wrapped package to the waiting groom. A warm feeling centered over her heart. She enjoyed buying Rowan gifts and her husband was very effusive in his gratitude. After purchasing him some stationary he’d locked the parlor door and they’d spent an enjoyable afternoon. The divan would never be the same. Her cheeks flamed at the memory.
My God I’ve turned into one of those women who moons over her husband.
As Arabella rounded the corner towards her carriage, she was preoccupied with thoughts of Rowan. Primarily his naked backside which she’d admired that morning as he’d walked to his dressing room. Smiling to herself, she nearly ran into a pair of women coming from the opposite direction.
Lady Gwendolyn and another young lady.
Turned out in a froth of pink and lace, Lady Gwendolyn batted her round blue eyes at Arabella with dismay. The perfect rosebud of a mouth pursed in dislike as she put as much distance between herself and Arabella as possible. As if Arabella were a leper.
Arabella nodded politely to Lady Gwendolyn and her friend, moving past the pair as quickly as possible. Whispers and malicious giggles met her ears, but Arabella did not turn around. Instead, she hummed louder to drown out the sound. As she and the groom approached the coach, she directed the young man to secure the packages.
“Oh, dear.” Rowan’s gloves were missing from the stack. She was still carrying them when she’d entered Thrumbadge’s and must have set the package down as she spoke to the clerk.
“I’ve left something at Thrumbadge’s” She said over her shoulder as she headed back down the street. I’ll return in a moment.”
“Lady Malden.” The groom reddened as he tried to balance the load of books. “Please wait and I’ll escort you.” He looked up at the driver for assistance.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll be able to watch me from where you stand. Please stay with the carriage and secure my purchases.” Her words held a note of command as she hurried down the street to the booksellers. Unfortunately, she hadn’t left the package at Thrumbadge’s for the clerk claimed he’d not seen it. After muttering a few choice words under her breath, Arabella decided perhaps the footman had dropped the gloves. As she made her way back the way she’d come Arabella kept her eyes down, hoping she’d spot the dropped package.
“Lady Malden, how lovely to see you out and about.”
The words startled her momentarily and she halted, dread seeping over her chest. A shadow moved out of a narrow alley between Thrumbadge’s and the tobacco shop. As the shadow moved closer, she could see the malicious sneer on his lips as he looked at her.
“Don’t you want to stop and say hello to an old friend?” He held up a small package wrapped in brown paper. Rowan’s gloves. “Are you looking for this?”
Barker.
