Page 95 of The Rowdy Ones
That was crudely stolen from me too.
The blood and traumatizing pain of the miscarriage was even worse than the rape for me. I didn’t even have a prize for dealing with the torture I endured. It was all for nothing.
And now I’m in this therapy circle with other people with similar life problems, and it’s too much. I don’t want to be here. I want to go home, crawl into Rowdy’s safe, protective arms, and forget about that awful time in my life.
What’s the point in rehashing something so painful?
Isn’t it better to shove it deep down and try to forget it ever happened?
Someone pushes a tissue into my hand. I grab onto it and dab at my eyes. Maybe I can just leave. If I text Rowdy, he’ll pick me up in a heartbeat. Knowing him, he’s waiting in the parking lot anyway.
“Destiny?” the therapist says gently. “Would you like to speak next?”
I shake my head in vehemence and rise quickly to my feet. “I’m good, thanks.”
They call out to me, but I’m already whipping my cane from side to side as I make a beeline for where I know the door is. Once in the hallway, I start in the direction for the front doors of the building. I need out of here. I need air, distance, and my brother.
Before I make it to the lobby of the building, I sense another person’s presence. Then I’m met with a familiar floral scent.
“Hi, Destiny,” Gwen says in greeting. “I was hoping I would catch you. Have a minute to tell me about your week so far?”
The last thing I want to do is sit with her right now, but I find myself nodding anyway. I could use a cup of her delicious coffee. Plus, I need to text Rowdy first. She has me follow her to her office, and before I enter, I excuse myself to make a text. Once she’s in her office with the door closed, I tell my phone to text Rowdy.
Me: I’m done for the day. Come get me? I’m hungry for burgers and strawberry shakes again. Plus, we can get some more sour gummy worms while out. Text me when you’re here and I’ll come out.
His response is immediate and I have my phone read it in its digitized voice.
Rowdy: was running an errand will head that way see you in fifteen or twenty minutes okay love you bye
I smile at his text. My phone always reads his texts as one long sentence and sometimes the words are wrong. Each one, though, warms my heart. Feeling better than I did a few minutes ago, I let myself into Gwen’s office and inhale the coffee aroma.
“Have a seat,” she says. “I’ll put your mug in front of you after you sit.”
Since I’ve been coming here pretty much every day, I easily find the sofa and sit down. Seconds later, I hear thethunkof the mug on the tabletop. As promised, it’s exactly where she said it would be.
I sip on my coffee and wonder if Weston told her about our difficult conversation. Once she has her coffee ready, she sits across from me, the chair squeaking beneath her.
“Group talk hard today?” she asks in a tender voice. “I know it’s not over yet and you were roaming the halls. Your eyes are red too. I’m guessing it was upsetting. Want to talk about it?”
Grimacing, I shake my head. “Things happened to me a while back ago. The girl talking stirred up those things. I hate thinking about them, much less talking about them. I needed a break from it.”
“I understand. It happens to everyone their first time. Hearing everyone else’s trauma is heavy. Not all of it is related to their disability. I’m assuming yours has nothing to do with yours either.”
“Nope. Just your regular, run-of-the-mill kidnapping and rape.”
To her credit, she doesn’t suck in a sharp breath or indicate my words have shaken her in any way. It makes me feel like a brat for trying to rattle her with the essence of my trauma.
“I hope the person who did that to you is suffering consequences.”
“They paid their price,” I say, nodding. “I don’t have to worry about them anymore.”
“Sounds like prison is a good place for them.”
I don’t correct her and tell her my brother murdered my abuser.
“It’ll be better next Friday,” she assures me, a smile in her words. “I promise.”
And here I’m considering skipping Fridays altogether.
