Page 51 of A Scot for Bethan
“Dear God, Ealasaid.”
Before he could think, Cameron drew her into his arms. Mercifully, she didn’t stop him, because he needed to hold her, reassure himself she was unharmed. Would that he had beenthere for her, to make her see that she didn’t have to resort to such extreme measures to be safe!
He brushed his forefinger along the raised ridge of the scar slicing her cheek in half. It did not look too deep a cut, as if she had not found the courage to do as much damage as she wished. Still, he could not imagine the pain she had endured. And the worse of it was, it had been for nothing. Because scar or no scar, she was still the most arresting woman he had ever seen. Her eyes had lost none of their sparkle. Her smile still had the power to steal his breath. And even if she had cut the other cheek, it would have made no difference. Her spirit was untouched, no matter what marks had appeared on her skin. Above all, it was what made her beautiful.
His chest tightened.
“You dared me to look at you and tell you you were an extraordinarily beautiful woman,” he whispered, his mouth at her temple. “Well, I am looking at you and I cannot say otherwise. This is a scar, nothing more. It doesn’t diminish your beauty in any way. You are still perfect to me. You’re still the only woman I want.”
He felt her sag against him, a sure sign her resolve was weakening. “Cameron, you must stop talking like that.”
“Why? When it is nothing but the truth?”
“Because you weren’t supposed to come back, you wretched man! You weren’t supposed to care about me. But you did come back,” she cried out. “And you… And now you’re behaving as if you did care about me. It’s too much. I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know what to do.”
Hope swelled in his chest. She had seen how much he cared, and it had broken through her defenses. “Don’t think,mo chridhe, and just do what feels right. Stay with me, you know it’s the right thing to do.”
For a moment, Bethan looked as if she would answer—and instead, burst into tears. Without the least hesitation, he swept her into his arms and sat down on the bench behind them, keeping her cradled in his lap, closing his eyes when her familiar honeyed scent enveloped him. She wasn’t usually prone to such outpourings of emotion. Was this a good sign? Dare he hope she was finally surrendering to her feelings for him? Mayhap the babe was making her more emotional than usual?
Yes. The babe. That was why he was here, because they needed to discuss it. He would not wait another moment.
“Tell me, why did you go to such lengths to make yourself undesirable?” he murmured once her tears had dried. He thought he knew, but he wanted to hear it from her lips. It was time to force her to reveal what she was hiding from him.
“I could not bear the idea of…”
She stopped and her hand moved to her stomach as if she’d become accustomed to seeking comfort in the babe she was growing in her womb. At the last moment she bunched her fist and let her arm drop by her side. Cameron inhaled as his suspicions were confirmed. He had guessed that there would be more than wanting to ensure she did not appeal to men behind her desperate gesture. She had done this for their child. Rather than risk having the bairn hurt during an assault, she had cut herself.
His heart squeezed and melted at the same time because in this moment he knew for certain that not all hope was lost. She loved the bairn he had given her, in spite of everything, because she loved him.
“The idea of…?” he encouraged her softly.
Just when he thought she would find the courage to tell him, she straightened her spine and slid down from his lap, her face a blank mask once more.
“The idea of being taken against my will. Up until my arrival in Scotland, I had been in control of who I welcomed in my bed. It scared me to think that I might not be one day. McDonald thought he could force me to precipitate a union between us. The peddler thought he could rape me just because I was ‘a beautiful woman’ and he felt desire for me. I could not risk stirring another man’s lust.”
Aye, undoubtedly, her fear of rape would have weighed in the balance, but he knew that was not the main reason for hurting herself the way she had done. It would have been excruciatingly painful, and she would not have acted so decisively had she had only herself to protect.
“So you cut yourself, thinking it would be enough to keep men at bay?”
She swallowed. “I had intended to do more, but William stopped me. He walked in on me and was horrified.”
“I bet he was.” Cameron could not imagine the shock of finding her, a blade in hand, her face and neck covered in blood. Had it been him, he wasn’t sure how he would have handled it. He would have to make sure to thank the man for stopping Bethan before she hurt herself any further. Really the list of what he owed Sir William was getting ridiculously long. “And so, to make sure you weren’t assaulted by men who thought you defenseless, he offered to marry you?”
Her hesitation was brief, but unmistakable. “Yes.”
Ah. So that was not the moment it had happened, then. Cameron guessed her friend would have asked a few weeks later, upon realizing she was with child and ruined. His chest tightened. He should have been there to rejoice in the news, share the moment with her, instead of letting her worry about the future of a babe who would be called a bastard if she remained unmarried.
Well, he would be there the next time she swelled with his child, and every time after that.
“Shall I tell you why I think you agreed to marry Sir William?” When she didn’t answer, he took both her hands in his, locking his gaze with hers. This was it. She would not be allowed to deny she was with child a moment longer. “This is a mutually beneficial union. He saves you from unwanted attention and a ruined reputation and you provide him with the heir he would never have had otherwise.”
“The… W-what do you mean?” she stammered.
“Ealasaid, I ken you are carrying my child,” he said, finally placing a hand on her stomach. It was taut, just as he had guessed, and ever so slightly curved. His heart skipped a beat and then started to pound hard in his chest. “I ken that is why you were so desperate not to fall in the clutches of another man, why you sacrificed yourself, why it was imperative that you marry as soon as possible, why you accepted Sir William’s offer. I will never thank him enough for the comfort and protection he offered you these last few months, but I will not let him do what I should be doing myself. There is another way to protect your reputation and ensure your protection. Marry me.”
“You said I would be free to marry the man of my choice this time.” Her eyes were filling with tears again.
“I am the man of your choice, me, and no other. And you are the only woman I will ever want.”
