Page 50 of A Scot for Bethan
He made a face she had difficulty interpreting. For a moment he looked on the verge of contradicting her, then he shook his head. “It was not greed either, unlike what you seemed to believe. I care not about your fortune.”
“No.”
At least she had the honesty to acknowledge this. He’d wanted to give the babe she might have conceived a name. It was an honorable intention, but she had the weakness of wanting more, of wanting to be chosen for herself, not because duty dictated he should marry her.
Honorable to the core and putting duty before pleasure.That was how he had described himself the day he had told her he’d not wanted to be laird, and his whole life had proved it. Well, she didn’t want to be another burden he’d had to shoulder because there were no other options. It would only destroy whatever had started to bloom between them.
She could only congratulate herself on having had the presence of mind to pretend there was no chance she could fall with child that day, otherwise there would be no stopping him from marrying her now that she was indeed with child. Thank the Lord he had come to find her now, and not in three months’ time, when it would have been impossible to hide her swollen stomach, or in the new year, when he might have found her with the babe at her breast.
Married or not, he would have bundled her up and whisked her away, straight back to Nead an Diabhail.
But why had he come at all? That was what she didn’t understand. She had thought never to see him again. After finding her gone, she’d imagined he would go back to Scotland, and forget he’d ever met a Welshwoman who’d been supposed to marry his nephew. What did he hope to achieve by coming all the way here? How had he even known where she was? Did it matter? No. It was too late anyway. She had found a solution to her predicament, and she would not allow anyone to steer her away from the path she had chosen.
“In any case, soon I will not have to worry about any of that,” she said, stiffening her spine. “I will be a married woman. I will be safe. Men will stop coveting my newfound fortune and lusting after me.”
“Don’t be so naïve. As Lady Parry, your fortune will indeed be out of reach but that will not stop men from pursuing you. Married or not, you will still draw them like a flame draws moths,” Cameron said with more feeling that she had ever heard in his voice. “You are an extraordinarily beautiful woman, Ealasaid, and you know it. Having a husband might protect you from unwanted marriage proposals, but men will always lust after you. You told me they did when you were a virgin, and betrothed, they won’t stop now that you cannot be ruined anymore, quite the opposite. Forgive me for saying as much, butyou chose the worst husband to keep suitors at bay. Everyone will know you do not have a true marriage. Giving you what Sir William will never be able to give you will be too great a temptation to resist.”
Bethan bit her bottom lip. He was right, unfortunately. She had attracted men’s attention when she had been supposedly out of reach. Things would not change just because she had become Lady Parry. It was as Cameron had said. Her future husband’s preferences were not quite as secret as she’d hoped, and men would know she did not get fulfillment in her marital bed. They would see it as a personal challenge to try and show her what she was missing. But she had a weapon at her disposal now, a weapon no one but William knew about.
“Men have lusted after me in the past, but they won’t any longer, not with this.” She tore at her wimple in a violent gesture, exposing her right cheek. “Look at me now and tell me I am an extraordinarily beautiful woman if you dare!”
A sob escaped her lips. William never made her feel self-conscious about the scar, but she knew she looked hideous. What would Cameron make of it? He would look at her differently, it was inevitable, and she could not deny that the notion tore at her gut. She had never thought thathewould see what she had become. Tears welled in her eyes. Why, oh, why, did he have to come, disturb the fragile peace she was trying to find, reawaken the desire she felt for him—and make her feel like a monster?
Frozen in horror, Cameron stared at the long jagged scar on Bethan’s cheek, a pink trail running from the corner of her right eye to her jaw, right under her earlobe. Now he understood why she had chosen to wear the strange wimple-like headdress. She had not wanted him to see the scar. He remembered how Sir William had placed the hood over her head earlier that daybefore she could turn around. He had not wanted him to see the scar either.
“Who shall I kill for this?” he growled, his hand going straight to the hilt of his sword.
He would not just kill the man, he would make him wish he’d never been born. The attack had to have happened in the last three months, because when he’d last seen her, her face had been unmarred.
“What happened? What bastard hurt you so? Just say the name.”
“I… No one.”
Cameron watched as Bethan cradled her cheek in her hand and his heart almost stopped. “You don’t mean… You did that to yourself?”
She lowered her eyes to the ground, providing him with the answer.
She had.
“But why?” He was appalled. What could possibly have gone through her mind to make her do such a thing?
“The week after I arrived here, there was a storm. A peddler sought refuge at the castle for the night. He was a filthy old man, thin as a reed, and smelling worse than a pile of dung.” She gave an involuntary shiver, as if the mere memory of that smell offended her nose. “He slept in the stables, keeping well out of the way. In the morning, before leaving, he tried to sell me various unguents and potions supposed to enhance a woman’s beauty. I told him I didn’t need anything. He laughed and told me beautiful women always said that, but then there came a time when they regretted not having done anything to preserve their youth and beauty while they could.”
“What a bloody fool.” Cameron was certainly not impressed by the man’s attitude, but he did not see what that story had to do with anything. Surely Bethan had not slashed her face toprove to the old idiot that she would not mind losing her beauty—supposing she ever would?
“Seeing that there would be no convincing him, I lost patience and made to walk away. That was when he pounced.”
Cameron’s blood exploded in his veins, the strength of his fury making his eyeballs sting and his bones turn to ashes. Not again! Not another man thinking he could use her body for his pleasure! Where was the bastard now? If he wasn’t dead already, he would find him and flay him alive, inch by excruciating inch, before stuffing his mouth full with his bloody unguents.
“Please tell me Sir William arrived in time to stop him?”
Before I start retching.
“There was no need. When he grabbed me, I was so overwhelmed with anger and disgust that I struck him down with his heavy wooden staff. I told you he was a wisp of a man, so it wasn’t that hard.” She raised her head, looking as fierce as a warrior queen. He had never been prouder of anyone than he was of her in this moment. “I believe I would have killed him had a groom not arrived at that moment.”
“Aye, well, he deserved no less anyway.”
“Perhaps. But I’m glad not to have a man’s death on my conscience. I stopped him from—I stopped him, it is all that matters. But the attack shocked me. Donald McDonald, his brother, the peddler… Who would be next? And what would happen if the next man succeeded? I could not bear the idea of being raped or captured or forced to marry to a man I did not want, like I almost was three times in as many months.” She put her fingertips on the scar. “So, I did what I could do to deter suitors.”
