Page 18 of A Scot for Bethan
Torches had been placed at regular intervals around the inner bailey, allowing them to get their bearings but as soon as they passed through the gate and entered the outer ward, darkness descended. The thin crescent of moon hanging above the battlements was shedding barely enough light for them to see where they were going. Bethan slowed down, unsure of herfooting. Should they turn back? No. With Cameron’s solid body by her side, she would not fall.
“What did you want to do with your life, if not become laird?” she asked, once all the light and sound from the great hall had vanished into the night.
She started. Where had that question come from?
“Why would you want to know that?” Cameron apparently agreed that the question was an odd one to ask him.
She shrugged. Though she suspected she was only trying to ensure her mind didn’t start to wander down forbidden paths, she could not deny being curious. “We have been riding together for days, and I still don’t know anything about you. It feels wrong.”
They took a few more steps and she wondered if he was going to answer. Eventually, he stopped and sighed. “Dougal’s father, Niall, was only my half-brother, and a lot older than me.”
This was not new to her. Her father had once tried to explain the intricacies of the Campbell family to her, but she had barely listened to him, thinking it of little interest. Now she was most certainly interested. “Was he?”
“He was born from our father’s first wife, the daughter of the chief of a powerful clan. He was the oldest of three brothers but the other two died at a young age in mysterious circumstances, from what I’ve been told. I am the old laird’s second wife’s son, and she died soon after birthing me. I have no memories of her. All I know is that I look a lot like her, and we have the same eyes.”
Bethan clenched her fists. Why had she asked him a question that would reawaken the pain of his loss? This was where curiosity led, and she should have known better than to pry. “I’m s-sorry,” she stammered.
White teeth gleamed in the darkness, betraying the fact that Cameron was smiling. Relief made her shoulders sag. Despite her indiscretion, he was not angry with her.
“Don’t be sorry. ’Tis all a very grim affair. He had married her only because her father, a local merchant of some importance, had demanded he did so when her belly started to swell with his child—me. The clan elders made it clear they thought my mother was not suited to the role of Lady Campbell, unlike his first wife, and they never saw me as a fit second son for their laird.”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated.
He smiled again, as if amused that she should ignore his instructions not to be sorry. But she was sorry—and, unlike him, she did not see what could be funny in that story.
“I’ve made my peace with it. The miracle is that the laird did not ignore the merchant’s demand or pretend not to be the bairn’s father. Who could have forced him? Nay, though he plainly did not love her and his clan resented him for it, he married the woman and when she died a year later, he vowed never to wed again. Of course, that did not prevent him from fathering half a dozen bastards on local women.”
Dear Lord, that was awful, but this time Bethan managed to stop herself from telling him she was sorry. He’d probably guessed it anyway.
“Why did the clan choose you as laird instead of Dougal?”
She was not familiar with succession rights of the Scottish Highlands, but she knew from her father that Niall Campbell had meant for his son to succeed him—it had been the whole reason this union had been arranged, so that she would gain prestige. It seemed odd on the part of the elders to contravene the late laird’s wishes, especially when the man they had chosen had not been well-liked as a child. Dougal had been a man at his father’s death, not a babe in arms, and by all accounts a bravesoldier. He would have been the obvious choice to succeed him. So why had he been rejected?
Cameron crossed his arms over his chest. He reallywasamused, she realized. Perhaps he didn’t mind her asking questions, since they seemed to give him such pleasure.
“Unlike Sir Patrick’s family, we Campbells are riddled with men.” He scoffed. “Not lily-livered courtiers either, but rough, battle-hardened warriors hard to keep under control. Not a sensible woman in sight. When Niall died, the elders felt someone like Dougal, who is not only young but hardly ever home, would never be able to rule over such a rowdy, opinionated bunch. So they chose me, as unsuitable as I was deemed when I was born. I’ve always had a good head for numbers, and I can be as rowdy and opinionated as the best of them. Apparently, it was enough.”
The irony of it. It must have pleased Cameron to take his revenge on the men who had reviled him as a child. But he still hadn’t answered her question. What would he have wanted to do rather than keep difficult men under control?
“Why did you accept if you had other plans? As I see it, you didn’t owe these men anything. They had despised your mother and made your life a misery. You would have been well justified in sending them to hell.”
Instead of being shocked at her choice of words, he shrugged, a gesture that had become familiar over the last week. Odd how you could have the impression that you had known some people all your life. From the moment she had seen Cameron outside that tavern, she had felt a connection to him, as if their meeting was only a question of time. He’d seamlessly become part of the fabric of her life.
“Refusing would have been the selfish option. Too many people depended on me. The tenants have done nothing to hurt me, and they need a strong laird to protect them from ourneighbors, who are always looking for excuses to stir trouble. Despite the recent victories of the Bruce, times have never been more uncertain. My clan deserves the best protection, and I am the man to provide it.”
Bethan was well and truly chastened. He had sacrificed himself for others, he was doing his duty by people who had treated him badly as a child and protecting others who had never even met him and would never know what he had done. Would she have acted the same in his place? She wasn’t sure.
“It was commendable of you,” she muttered, feeling inadequate.
“Aye, well that’s me. Honorable to the core and putting duty before pleasure.”
Though he was obviously jesting to put her at ease, she knew he was telling the absolute truth. He would always put others’ needs before his own. Besides, the words were too evocative not to be a provocation, and she reacted accordingly. Pleasure. Yes, if ever there was a man who’d been created to give and receive pleasure, it was him. The hand still in the crook of his arm was resting on rock hard muscle. Was the rest of him as hard, she wondered? Did he?—
“And I like to roll around in mud, naked in the moonlight.”
“I beg your pardon?” Bethan’s head snapped toward Cameron. Had he just said?—?
He laughed, the sound uncharacteristically joyous. “It is a relief to see that youarelistening to me. For a moment it looked as if you were lost in thought and I was talking to myself.”
