Page 39 of A Second Chance for Carys
The thought, inevitably, made her look at James, who was tying the horses to the same cluster of trees they had used the first time they had come and everything within her bloomed.
Yes, perhaps shewasfalling in love.
It was different from what had happened with Dewi. With her husband, she had known from the start they were made for each other. She had not asked herself any questions, not wondered if being with him was a good idea or if he shared her feelings. There had been no hesitation about what the future might bring for them, no self-doubting. For someone who had been a somewhat shy child, it had been a liberation to be certain of something for once, and simply act on it. Rushing headlonginto the relationship with the impetuosity of youth had been the obvious thing to do. And during their marriage, Dewi had allowed her to blossom into the confident, mature woman she was now.
Being with a man who loved her no matter what she did or said had freed her in more ways than one and, decades later, she was still reaping the benefits.
Perhaps wisdom was simply an advantage of growing older, but she was a different person than the girl she had been, more secure in herself and what she wanted or didn’t want. And because of this new self-knowledge, she recognized that James was destined to play a role in her life, and she had the honesty to acknowledge to herself that she wanted him to.
The difference in personalities between him and Dewi made it easy for her to accept what she felt for James, as she didn’t feel she was comparing one to the other. One had been a storm, the other was like gentle rain. The intensity was different, but the result on a plant waiting to bloom was the same. The outpouring of water allowed it to thrive.
It was time. She had been dry for far too long.
“Shall we?” she asked once James had secured the horses to the tree.
“Yes.”
He followed her to the edge of the water. She reddened when he spread the blanket in the spot he’d chosen the day he’d first taken her to the beach—and catapulted her straight to the stars. The look he threw her made it clear he had hoped to reawaken her memory. As if she could have forgotten such a thing.
“Are you going to dip your toes in again today?”
“Yes.” Carys squared off to him. “And I want to go wade in the water this time.”
There would be no hesitating. From now on she would live her life to the full. After Dewi’s death she had found solace in herrole as mother and it had been enough to satisfy her, but now her daughters were grown and they didn’t need her in the same way. Each had their own lives. It was time she thought of herself again. Last year she had left her country and started to build the second part of her life away from all she knew. It could have been scary, but it was actually freeing. If she wanted something, she could just take it, for who would stop her? No one. Hadn’t she reflected only a moment ago that she was no longer the shy little girl she’d once been but a woman at ease with her needs and desires? It was one of the good things that came with age.
It brought you perspective, and the will to focus on what mattered.
If she wanted to take something, shewouldtake it. She was not accountable to anyone.
“I will go in the water,” she repeated, steeling herself. It would be as cold as last time, she supposed but no colder than the lake she was used to.
“You don’t know how to swim.” James sounded amused rather than trying to dissuade her.
“No. But you do. You will hold me.”
“Will I?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t even blink. “Yes, I will.”
They stripped down to their undershirts with the ease of long acquaintances, of people who had nothing to hide and were comfortable with one another. There was no embarrassment, no hint of teasing. There was nothing sexual in this disrobing. They were simply getting ready for a swim together. Well, a wade at the very least.
When they were ready, James held out his hand to her and gave a curt order, as was his wont. “Come.”
She took his hand and followed him. They entered the water and walked steadily on until they were fully submerged. It wasthe only way to beat the cold. If they hesitated, they would not make it, and she did not want to be defeated on the first try.
Once the water reached to her shoulders Carys knew a moment of panic. This was very different from being in the tranquil waters of the lake by the village. James had crouched down to be at her level, and he was still holding her hands, for which she was glad because between the movement of the waves and the shifting of the sand under her feet, she was worried about going under. But with him holding her securely, she would be fine.
“Wouldn’t you like to go farther out?” she asked nonetheless. This could not hold much interest for him, who could make the most of the vast expanse stretching before him. “You could leave me here and go have a swim.”
“No. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
The answer was so perfect she sagged a little. Just then, a more forceful wave crashed against her, catching her on the chin. She let out a gasp when water sprayed her lips—and tongue. “Oh! But it’s…”
“It’s what?” James cocked a brow.
“The water…” She spluttered. “It tastes of salt! It’s revolting!”
