Page 53 of Saxon Blade Norman Blood
He raised a brow. “You are indeed alone with me, but you are unarmed, and I am on high alert for any move on your part. Mark my words, you will not be allowed anywhere near the crockery ever again.”
This was said with one of his most devastating smiles. She had never seen anyone smile like this, much less been on the receiving end of such a blatantly seductive ploy, and she wasn’t sure how to respond.
“So when I spared you de Malemort’s advances and asked you to my room, I did you more of a favor than you could have dreamed.” He became serious again.
“As to that, I will admit I was stunned by your intervention.”
“I can well imagine. Stunnedandrelieved, as it provided you with the perfect setting for your crime. I signed my own death warrant by being too helpful.”
He sounded wistful and Rowena felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment. “Whatever else happened that night, I want you to know I am grateful for what you did. You did not know me, but you helped me. I dread to think what would have happened had you not intervened.”
“I bet you could not believe this stroke of luck.”
“It’s not quite what I meant.”
“I know.” He scorched her with a blazing look. “In any event, I did not die for my generous impulse, so there is justice after all. Maybe someone is trying to send you a message.”
Rowena had never thought about it like that and though she wasn’t sure she believed in such messages, there was surelya lesson in there somewhere. Rather than lunging at her that night, William had made her lose her mind with pleasure. After months of careful preparations, it had been enough for him to put his hands on her to make her forget everything.
And so, by being generous and patient, William had saved himself. Had he arrived in the room and tumbled her into the bed like the monster she had imagined him to be, he would probably be dead by now. She would have drawn the dagger and plunged it into his body without any hesitation. She had only spared him because she had been too busy enjoying the attention he lavished on her.
Maybe there was justice indeed. Generosity and selflessness had been more efficient in protecting him than brute force would have been. Even if she did not believe in destiny, the fact that he owed his life to his respectful attitude certainly gave her food for thought.
Since that fateful day in her stepfather’s house, she had been presented with two images of William de la Falaise, and wondered which one was the real him. Now she knew. The ruthless killer who had murdered her stepfather was not who he truly was. Such a man would not have been so ready to defend the honor of a servant girl he had never met before. He would not have taken the time to pleasure her before satisfying his own urges.
“I think your mother must have been an extraordinarily single-minded woman,” he said after a while.
She could only agree, but she was amazed that he could have guessed as much from their short conversation. “Stabbing herself must have required an uncommon strength of character, I suppose.”
He nodded. “Yes, but she did not seem to take into account what it would do to her daughter to have to live with that terrible image in her mind.”
This observation was too close to what she had never allowed herself to think for Rowena to be comfortable. She bristled. “What else was she supposed to do? Let the men rape her without a word of protest? Do you think I would have found it easier to live with the memory of the two of them forcing themselves upon her?”
“No, of course not.” William gritted his teeth. “Forgive me, that is not what I meant.”
His obvious disgust at his men’s actions lessened Rowena’s anger. She shouldn’t be getting angry with him. He was only trying to be honest. “What did you mean then?”
“I mean that she chose to kill herself when she knew you were watching. Then she asked you to avenge both her death and that of a man who was not even your father. That is a heavy burden for anyone, too heavy for most to carry, especially someone like you. She did not worry you could be killed yourself for killing a Norman, possibly even be tortured and raped beforehand.” William sounded as earnest as she had ever heard him. “And even if, by some miracle, you did not get punished for it, she did not think how you would live the rest of your life with a man’s blood on your hands.”
“You are only saying this because that man is you, and you’re glad I did not kill you,” she argued.
“Not so, even if I am indeed glad you did not kill me for a crime I did not commit.” He had to be referring to the attempted rape of her mother, Rowena supposed, for they both knew he had killed Godric. “But as I told you before, it is not so easy to kill a man.”
“Your life seems to prove the opposite,” she said more scathingly than she had intended.
As usual, he did not let the accusation ruffle him. “But it is because I have killed men that I can tell you. I know what I’m talking about. You haven’t got the heart of a killer.” He spokegently, almost as if he regretted the fact, as if he knew it was not what she wanted to hear.
“How can you be so sure? You don’t know anything about me.”
He took her hand and placed the tip of her fingers on the wound she had inflicted him. It was healing well, but still looked raw. Her hand trembled when her fingers touched his skin. She could barely breathe. To think he could be dead right now, through her fault!
“I know enough. Remember how you reacted when you cut my cheek? You almost fainted and were sick with disgust. You tremble thinking about it now.” He wrapped his fingers around hers to still them and carried on speaking softly. “How do you think you would have felt if you had cut open my throat and watched me die at your feet?”
“I-I don’t…” she stammered, imagining him lying in a pool of his own blood, twitching in the throes of agony. He was right, the horror would have unhinged her mind, perhaps permanently. “I don’t know.”
He placed a kiss on the inside her palm, on her injury, lingering over the gesture. Rowena closed her eyes. This was delicious. “You are no murderer and I think your mother should not have asked you to become one. You were her daughter, she should have protected you, she should have protected your future peace of mind.”
“How could she have done that? She did not want you to kill her husband, she did not ask the men to come at her, did she? It is all very well telling me this but how was she supposed to protect me after what had happened? How? Tell me how if you are so sure!” she cried out, pushing at him in anger. He was kissing her, soothing her, making her feel as if everything was all right.
