Page 8 of A Husband for Esyllt
She could only rely on her own wits to protect herself and her daughter. This man could even now be plotting to dispose of her, just like Gruffydd was plotting to dispose of him.
An idea popped into her head. He’d said he was not afeared. But what if she gave him reason to be, make him keep his distance that way?
Her chest tightened at the prospect of wielding such a weapon. It could prove a dangerous one, but she would use it, because there was no other choice.
If she managed to instill some fear in him now, it would be her best protection in the future. He might well leave her alone. After all, last night he’d made it clear he felt nothing but contempt for her, so she had nothing to lose.
“I killed my first husband,” she said, squaring her shoulders. “And I don’t think you would want to be next.”
For a moment the very air around them seemed to still. Then Connor’s eyes narrowed.
“Did you just say you killed your first husband?”
“Yes,” she forced herself to answer, addressing her silent apologies to Gwyn. Heavens, what was she reduced to, using his death thus? But what other choice did she have? “You never wondered why I was a widow at such a young age?”
Connor was not so easily impressed, as she could have guessed. “No. Six-and-twenty is not such a young age to be widowed, considering your husband was well into his fifties at the time of your wedding.”
“He was forty-seven.”
Esyllt bit her lip. The threat had utterly failed to rankle him. Perhaps it was for the best, for in truth she already regretted having claimed to being a murderess.
“So. You disposed of your first husband. What shall I do with this information?” Connor asked, crossing his arms over his well-muscled chest. It was odd to have this conversation in the middle of the great hall, surrounded by dozens of people, amongst which were English people who could understand what they were saying.
“What do you mean?”
“Am I supposed to flee in fright, and go back to England? Try and repudiate you even though it could be argued that the marriage has already been consummated?” She winced at the idea. Being repudiated now would only make matters worse. “Kill you before you get the chance to kill me? Tell me. What am I supposed to do?
Kill her? This time Esyllt recoiled in horror. Was he seriously considering the option? “No!” she rasped. “Of course I don’t want you to kill me?”
“Then what?”
“I-I don’t know.”
“A charmingly honest answer, wife.” Connor took her hand and kissed it. A few people nodded at the gallant gesture, and she realized that they would look to onlookers as happy newlyweds when they were in fact discussing the best way for her husband to get rid of her. “I could always call an investigation first, find out what really happened to your first husband,” he carried on, sounding as if he were really giving the matter some consideration. Perhaps he was, or perhaps he only wanted to rankle her. She already knew he liked to unsettle her. “I don’t know about here, but where I come from, murder is frowned upon.”
Oh no, what had she done?
What a fool! She felt as if she had seized a sword to hit him in a fit of madness and had been disarmed in the blink of an eye, only to find the sharp blade pointing at her throat.
“Don’t worry. There will be no investigation. I shall make up my mind about you myself, Lady Sheridan. Nothing or no one will be allowed to sway me. What you did years ago matters less than what you do now.”
She blinked at him. Her ridiculous claim had failed to scare him, but at least it would not be used against her—for now. The worst had been averted, but he would bide his time and observe her, waiting for the first misstep.
Had she foolishly handed him the means of her own destruction?
Slowly, she disentangled her fingers from his grasp.
“If you will excuse me, I will retire to my room now. I feel a headache coming on.”
“But of course. I will join you presently.”
Join her. Oh God. Did he mean... Of course, as far as everyone was concerned, the marriage was still to be consummated. Though she was not a virgin and he was not her first husband, it was still expected that they consummate their union.
When she stood up, the people around them exchanged knowing glances, chief amongst them Gruffydd, who was eager to see this match he had worked so hard for made indissoluble. Esyllt felt her cheeks go crimson and hastened away. She was a woman of six-and-twenty, not a shy maid, and married to a man she did not love, so why was she so embarrassed at the idea of what was going to happen?
Once in her room, she sent her maid Seren away as soon as she had unlaced the back of her gown. She needed to be alone with her thoughts, needed to decide what to do next.
As she let her satin gown slide to the floor, her decision was made. She would not let Connor claim his marital rights. After what he’d had the gall to do to her last night, she would not allow him access to her bed, at least not willingly. Surely if she madeher feelings clear, he would not force her? He had not allowed his masculine urges to take over even when he had been hard and buried deep inside her, so she was pretty confident he felt no real desire for her.
