Page 62 of A Husband for Esyllt
“Is the...” He rubbed a hand over his face and could not finish the sentence.
“Everything is fine. She only experienced some light bleeding. It can happen at these early stages, and she told me she spent days on the road. That might account for it. It doesn’t mean anything will happen, though. I can understand your worries, given what happened with your late wife but the new Lady Sheridan is a woman of uncommonly strong constitution. She will be just fine, as will the babe.”
It was only then that Connor realized the woman was smiling again. She wouldn’t be smiling if she were worried in any way. His knees almost buckled from under him. Everything was fine.Esyllt was asking after him, their baby was safe, he was not being told he had lost another child. Everything was fine.
“Oh, God,” he murmured.
“Go to your wife, my lord, she is most anxious to see you.”
“So am I. Thank you, Mistress Annie. You have given me my life back.”
“It was my pleasure.” She paused. “But I think I’m not the one who gave you your life back, my lord. Well, I’m glad at any rate. It was time someone did.”
He rushed out of the room.
Chapter Sixteen
When Connor walked in through the door, Esyllt was sitting up in the bed, feeling herself again after the dreadful fright she’d had. Seeing him enter the room, she flushed. Very little time had passed since Mistress Annie had left, which meant he had rushed to her side as soon as he’d been told she wanted to see him. Dare she hope it was a good sign? Would he listen to her at last?
There was so much she needed to tell him. But first, she would have to apologize for frightening him.
“I’m sorry. I panicked.”
He closed the door and took a step forward, looking uncharacteristically hesitant. “Don’t be sorry. I panicked too.”
Yes. Having lost two children already, he would have. Which only added to her guilt.
Once the kind woman had reassured her, Esyllt had felt like a prized fool for scaring Connor unnecessarily. He would have thought his worst nightmare was coming true again. After thehorrific losses he had endured, seeing her lose this child in front of him would have been too awful for words.
“I was tired, aching from my ride, I saw the blood and I?—”
“Please,” Connor interrupted. “You don’t need to explain yourself. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You shouldn’t have been on the road in the first place. You shouldn’t have been worrying yourself over the reception you would get from me, your husband. It was all wrong, and it was all my fault.”
He shook his head in dismay.
“This had nothing to do with the travel. Or the anguish of wondering what you would tell me. Mistress Annie assured me it was perfectly normal, and no cause for concern.” She stroked her stomach tenderly. Though she had only just found out about this baby, she already loved it fiercely. “Thank you for sending her to me. I could not think what to do, I just?—”
“Oh, Esyllt, there is no need to thank me.” In two strides he was by the side of the bed. “I will always take care of my wife and child, how can you doubt it? I was so relieved when she told me you were both all right. I could not bear the idea that I would be responsible for yet another death.”
“Another death?” Her heart skipped a beat. “Who else have you killed?”
He stared at her, the expression on his face grave. “My late wife. You could argue I killed her. Had I not made her with child, she would never have?—”
“Stop. Husbands and wives make children together, it is the way of things and sometimes it ends up tragically. It is awful but one thing is certain, it is not your fault.” Esyllt took his hand in hers, wishing she could erase the haunted look in his eyes.
“No, I know.” He sighed and gave her hand a squeeze. “But it doesn’t necessarily make it easier to deal with the notion. And I think you of all people understand exactly what I mean.”
“Yes. I do.” She still bore the burden of Gwyn’s death, though many would argue she had not really killed him.
For a moment they remained silent, fingers entwined. Then Connor glanced at her stomach. A dreadful thought tore through her mind. Was he about to ask her who the father of this child was? Had Matthew mentioned his suspicions about her supposed numerous lovers? For a moment she feared it might be the case.
But the look in his eyes reassured her before panic could suffocate her once more. It was one of awe and love, not suspicion.
“So you are carrying my child. That’s why you could not wait to see me, why you came to Sheridan Manor, not just because you wanted to talk about what had happened with Gruffydd. It was because you wanted to tell me about this babe you’re about to give me.”
Esyllt’s shoulders relaxed. He didn’t doubt the paternity of the child for a moment. She should have known he would trust her. Still, he didn’t seem confident enough to come sit on the bed next to her, as if he weren’t sure of the reception he would get if they got too close. She placed a hand on the cover, indicating she wanted him on the bed with her.
“Yes. I thought I had better tell you without delay, and I didn’t think this was the kind of news a man wants to read in a letter.”
