Page 57 of A Husband for Esyllt
“Father!”
His heart almost gave out when his daughter ran up to him. For a dreadful moment last night he had thought he would not see her again. She was all he had left now that his wife had been exposed for the traitor she was. To think the prospect of being reunited with Esyllt had been what had sustained him while he’d endured the beating! The irony of it twisted at his guts.
“But you’re hurt!” Jane cried out.
“’Tis nothing, sweetheart. I fell into a ditch whilst chasing after Uncle Matthew but don’t worry, I eventually caught up with him, as I always do.” Ignoring the pain in his body, he knelt down by her side. “Now, go get ready. We are leaving for Sheridan Manor. I have urgent business there.”
The little girl made a face. “Now? It’s almost dark.”
It was, but he could not stay another moment in the castle. They would stop outside the village to camp but he had to go now. He could not risk staying too close to Esyllt because he feared her beguiling ways. He needed time to think about theimplications of what had happened and decide where they could go from there, or even if they could. He could only do that away from her.
“Yes, we’re going now. There is not a moment to lose.”
“But I don’t want to go back to Sheridan Manor on my own. I wish to remain here with Siân,” Jane glanced back toward the great hall where he guessed her stepsister was waiting so they could resume their game.
Connor hesitated. Could he tear her away from the little girl who had given her her life back? Alone at Sheridan Manor, surrounded by memories of her dead mother and sisters, Jane would be miserable. He never wanted to see her miserable ever again, even if it meant he would suffer a separation.
Besides, his daughter remaining here meant he had an excuse to come back to Esgyrn Castle sooner rather than later. He refused to think he was being weak by leaving the possibility of a reunion with Esyllt open, but he could not deny that a part of him hoped they could one day overcome this setback, severe though it had been.
“Very well,” he relented. “Then give me a kiss, for I shall miss you.”
“Me too.”
After a suitably fierce hug, Jane ran back to the great hall, her mind already on the game ahead. Connor wished he could be like her. Unfortunately, he was not about to forget his wife’s treachery.
“I trust I can leave my daughter here without fear of seeing her abducted by your friends?” he asked Esyllt.
What little color had gone back to her cheeks drained away once more. “How can you even suppose?—”
“I don’t,” he said more amenably. That had been a low blow. “Even I know you wouldn’t go as far as hurting an innocent child.”
“Connor, please.” The use of his name almost undid him. But he could not falter now. Using his heart to think instead of his head had almost cost him his life. He could not afford to make the same mistake twice. “You cannot leave like this. We need to talk.”
“Not now.” She was right, explanations would have to be given. But not now, when he was aching so much, body and soul. What difference would a few weeks make? He needed time to heal and come to terms with what had happened. Then there would be a reckoning.
He turned and vaulted on his horse without another glance at his wife.
His treacherous wife.
Chapter Fifteen
Despite her fatigue Esyllt kicked her mare on.
She had agonized about this trip for weeks. Should she go and find Connor? Would he not send her back from whence she’d come with a curse? No, he would never be so callous. And he had told her he was going to Sheridan Manor, when he could have kept silent about his destination. She wanted to see this as a sign that all was not lost, that she was allowed to go visit.
Besides, it wasn’t all about her. Jane was missing her father dreadfully. It had surprised everyone when the little girl had elected to remain in Wales instead of going with him, but it might now prove her salvation. She had used the little girl as an excuse to set off for England and see her husband before the rift between them became a gulf. A few weeks without him she might have been able to handle, but it had now been months.
She needed to see him.
The journey had been longer than she had anticipated, though, taxing both physically and mentally. Not only was she constantly tired and sick on occasion, but as days went past she started to worry about the reception she would get from Connor. At first, the idea of seeing him had filled her with anticipation,making the first few miles easily bearable. But soon her mood had turned to diffidence. Would he not be angry to see her when he had not called for her? Shouldn’t she at least have written to announce her arrival?
Perhaps, but it would not have made much difference. She had to see him. What she had to say was not easy to put down on paper and she wasn't even sure he would read a letter coming from her. He would assume she was trying to justify her terrible betrayal with more lies. Encouraged by Matthew, he might well throw the letter into the fire instead of opening it.
No. There was only one way to break the news to him, in person. But even if she hadn’t had any reason to go and find him, she would have wanted to go.
Because she missed Connor, missed everything about him.
Her body missed his heat at night, her mind missed their complicity by day, her heart missed all of him day and night. She missed the sparkle in his eyes when he teased her, the sound of his laughter, the jolt of recognition her body gave every time he entered a room, the warmth of his hands on her waist, the way he looked at her. She missed everything.
