Page 49 of A Husband for Esyllt
“No, you were the only one believing such nonsense! Cooperation between our two people is simply impossible. Really, how naïve can a woman be! That is why they should never be privy to important conversations. There can be no accord between us and the wretched English, do you hear, no compromise! They are leeches bleeding the honest Welsh folk dry, nothing more, and they need to be squashed. I hear that yourhusband,” he spat the word, “could not even bestir himself to come to the reeve’s election yesterday.”
Anger rose in Esyllt’s chest when she recalled Connor’s pain and the reason for his absence. She would not reveal it to a man who would never understand, but she would defend him tooth and nail. “He had every intention of coming,” she said hotly, “but at the last moment he was prevented from?—”
“Oh, the mighty Lord Sheridan had every intention of coming, did he?” Gruffydd cut in with derision. “Well, that’s all right then. I had every intention of speaking in his defense to theother lords when we devised our plan the other day, but would you believe it, at the last moment I...”
Esyllt didn’t hear the rest of the sentence as a noise coming from the solar above suddenly caught her attention. A mouse? Or worse, someone spying on them?
She felt exposed, as if the walls could hear them, as if the very air around her was witnessing her treachery. Simply talking about betraying Connor, even if she had no intention of doing so, made her feel guilty. Motioning to Gruffydd to follow, she led the way into the bailey. Out in the fresh air, it seemed to her she could breathe marginally better. Still, she was forced to endure more of his ranting.
“After our defeat in ’83, the land was taken over by the blasted English. People have been driven away from their homes and replaced by the enemy’s families, castles have sprouted everywhere to shelter the soldiers sent here to subdue and crush us. This is even worse than in ’77. You were only a child then, but I was a man already and I can tell you as much.”
“Well, perhaps the English have reason to fear a revolt and prepare for it,” Esyllt could not help but reply. “Look at what happened last December with Madog ap Llewellyn. Perhaps they?—”
“Perhaps nothing.” Gruffydd made a cutting gesture. “Madog only did what we were all itching to do, and Gwyn would be ashamed of you.”
“Ofme? I have done nothing wrong.”
“Speaking like you do is wrong. Even trying to explain or understand the workings of the enemy’s mind is wrong.”
Esyllt knew many would agree with him, but try as she may, she could not. Peaceful cohabitation between the two people didn’t seem such a bad option to her. No doubt Gruffydd would accuse her of thinking like a woman, but she thought she preferred prosperity to bloody war. Independence was all verywell, but it did not put food in people’s bellies and allow children to grow up safely.
“And don’t think I haven’t seen how you look at that new husband of yours. Fye, are you such a harlot that a pretty face should be enough to make you forget where your allegiance should be?”
“You were the one who chose my husband!” she spat, incensed that he should dare remonstrate with her for having found happiness in her marriage, despite the overwhelming odds. “If you were so worried about my falling for his charms, you should have chosen a man who looked like you.”
Gruffydd glared at her. Indeed, with a husband as ill-favored and intractable as the Welshman, neither her senses nor her mind would have been seduced. She might have been only too glad to be rid of him. But Connor... She didn’t want to be rid of Connor. She wanted to be with him every moment of every day, and night. She wanted to start their married life in earnest, with their two daughters. And after last night, she felt they finally could.
“Perhaps I should have chosen more wisely. Well, no matter, ’tis done now, and we will never surrender,” Gruffydd replied, eyes narrowing. “Every Englishman who presumes to come here and take possession of our land, our possessions, our women?—”
“Women and possessions are not the same thing!” Esyllt gritted her teeth. “And Lord Sheridan did not come here uninvited. He came becauseyouarranged this marriage,” she reminded him once again.
“I did because if it hadn’t been him, it would have been another, more powerful lord, one we could have disposed of less easily,” he snarled. “I did it so that it could serve us, not so that you could fawn over him and open your legs like a bitch in heat.”
The words were like a slap. How dare he speak to her in that manner? “Don’t you go accusing me of wantonness for doing myduty to the man you chose for me. You used me as a pawn in your ambition!”
“And what of it? A woman is useless except as a wife. Why, would you have liked me to use you in a different way?” Gruffydd leered at her, eyes roving over her body, lingering on her breasts. Esyllt fought the urge to cover herself up. She had no reason to be ashamed of her body, it was not her fault he was a lecherous pig. He would not make her feel soiled when only last night Connor had made her feel the most beautiful woman alive.
“How about not using me at all?” she suggested with hauteur. He would not have the satisfaction of seeing she had understood the not-so-subtle hint. “And allow me to deal with my husband as I see fit? It might be in everyone’s interest to let him administrate the domain. He’s proved to be a competent, lenient ruler, and he’s even started to learn Welsh. Surely, that shows he intends this to be a peaceful cohabitation? If you really must, focus your attention on Englishmen who do abuse their power. Heaven knows there are enough of those around.”
“I will focus on whoever I can reach, and you will do what you agreed to do,” he snapped. “You will do the one thing you can do to aid us in our enterprise. Tonight you will open the castle to us so we can slip in and take him in his sleep.”
“No. I will not betray my husband thus.” Esyllt did not even hesitate. “If you want to capture Lord Sheridan, do it in a fair fight. I won’t do anything to stop you.” She would enjoy watching them try, at least.
Gruffydd made a gesture of exasperation. “You know full well that capturing him is not as easy as it sounds. Your husband is not quite the preening, posing courtier we took him for when he arrived.” Esyllt almost let out a snort. How could they have thought that for a moment? It seemed that, just like Morgan the other day, they thought that braveness and strength could only come in the guise of rugged, gnarled men. The fools. “He will notbe so easily subdued. Not to mention that his brother is never far from him and just as fierce.”
Yes. A dozen men would be needed to overcome men like Connor and Matthew. Alone they were formidable, together she imagined they would be virtually invincible.
She waited, hoping Gruffydd would leave at last. He didn’t, instead carried on exposing his plans.
“However, if we catch him while he’s sleeping, we might stand a chance.”
She bit her lip. That was exactly what she had thought the night before their wedding. She had ordered her men to seize the man she thought to be the squire while he was at his most vulnerable. And it had worked. Gruffydd was not to know it, and she was certainly not about to tell him as much, but Connor slept like the dead. The middle of the night, when he was oblivious to everything around him, would be the perfect opportunity to strike.
While they continued to glare at one another, the clouds overhead finally collapsed under their own weight and a cold rain started to fall, pricking Esyllt’s skin.
“So,” Gruffydd asked, taking a step forward. “Will you do it? Will you open the side gate?”
“No.”
