Page 46 of A Husband for Esyllt
“Please, let me kiss you here,” he begged, brushing his cheek against a nipple made hard by the cold. Esyllt inhaled, proving he’d been right to suppose that the stubble on his jaw would create pleasurable sensations within her.
“Yes.”
He suckled her a long moment, one breast then the other, reveling in the feel of her softness in his mouth as well as the moans escaping her lips. Then, slowly, he lay back, coaxing her forward until she was draped over him. Her whole body was in contact with his, from forehead to toe.
So smooth, so arousing.
“Still cold, wife?” he breathed against her neck. Dear God, she not only felt good, she smelled divine as well.
“Was I cold?” she breathed back. “I can’t remember.”
Connor knew he was going to lose his mind. Finally he was about to possess his wife, the woman who had inflamed his desire for weeks. And what a woman she was! Stretched over his body, with her face buried against the crook of his neck, she fit against him perfectly, as if she’d been created to be there.
Bringing his hands to the back of her thighs, he coaxed her legs apart so that she was straddling him. The provocative position made him groan out loud. Would he take her like this and watch pleasure erupt on her face while she rode him? Would he turn her to her side and enter her from behind while he nibbled at her neck or make her support herself on her hands and knees so he could massage her breasts while he thrust inside her with all the strength of his desire?
No.
All this would have to wait. He wasn’t sure how experienced she was in the art of lovemaking. In fact, based on what he’d seen and heard so far, he was confident her elderly husband would have taken her only in the most traditional manner, and the last thing he wanted right now, when he was moments awayfrom bliss, was to startle her. They had the rest of their lives to experiment together.
“Please, I need you,” he rasped in her ear.
“Me too.” The words were little more than a sigh.
Unable to wait a moment longer, he gave a jerk of his hips and rolled her onto her back, placing her under him. There. Perfect. Her legs were already spread wide and he assured himself with a light finger that she was ready for him. To his relief, he found her slick with longing. Nothing stood in his way now. Thank the Lord she was not a virgin, for this first possession would be quick. He was ready to burst. Not to worry, they had all night to quench their thirst for each other, he would make sure she got her pleasure time and time again. For now he just needed to be inside her.
He looked deep into Esyllt’s eyes—and found them huge. Huge with fright, not hazy with longing.
“Christ, Esyllt, you’re afraid of me again!” He recoiled in horror. Was she disgusted by his unkempt state? It would be little wonder if she was. He would smell of drink, his stubble would feel rough on her tender skin. All his desire vanished at the sight of her fear. “Forgive me I should have waited for a better moment to?—”
“Please, no... It’s not that. Yes, I guess I am afraid, but it’s not what you think. I’m not afraid of you.”
His heartbeat eased marginally. If she wasn’t afraid of him, then he could handle it. “Then, what are you afraid of?”
Esyllt hesitated and, seeing that Connor was genuinely worried, forced herself to explain. She could tell he had not expected her to refuse him at the last moment, and in truth, she didn’t want to refuse him. It was only... well, that she was also scared.
She decided to be honest. They had just bared their souls to each other, she could not go back to secrecy now.
“I’m afraid of myself. Of my reaction. I don’t understand what is happening to me and it scares me. I’ve never been like this, I swear, but when you touch me I seem to become another woman, a wanton, lustful one, just like you said. I’m sorry, I know it displeases you, and it shames me to admit as much, but I cannot seem to help myself.”
It was shocking, decadent.
It made her want to squirm, to force him to place his hand on her, to reach between his legs and stroke his erect member, maybe, yes, maybe even take it in her mouth, just like he had alluded to.
What power did Connor have over her? How could he reduce her to this wild creature just by stroking her? Or maybe the fault lay with her, maybe he was right and there was something wrong with her. Maybe she really was depraved. Utterly dismayed, she hid her face in the crook of his neck as his words came back to taunt her.
I haven’t forgotten the way you straddled me or how desperately you rubbed yourself against me.
I treated you exactly how you wanted to be treated.
Your true nature.
How could she persuade him that she was not like this, that her reaction that night had surprised and frightened her in equal measure? How could she argue that she was not a lust-crazed creature when the same thing was happening right now? He would never believe her. Why would he? She had been startingly forward with him that first night. His first impression of her had been of a woman so lost to common decency that she had spent the evening before her wedding eyeing up her husband’s squire in lust, then had him taken to her bedchamber in the middle of the night so she could make love to him.
There would be no changing this impression now, least of all when she was naked and spread open beneath him.
All she could do was try to make him understand that it did not make her any less respectable in other ways.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me but I swear I’m not the wanton you think I am.” She felt close to tears at the idea that he might be disgusted by her now that they had finally reached an understanding. “With my first husband it was never like this, and I know you will not believe me but I?—”
