Page 46 of Heart of Stone
Ignoring how much I liked the way it felt to have her hand on my skin, I said, “You don’t have to apologize to me. I realize it’s stupid, especially now that I’ve heard your story. But for all those years, all I could see was my dad devoting all his time and energy somewhere other than to his family. Because it wasn’t just him working a normal nine-to-five job. I woke up many mornings to find that he’d already left. And I went to bed some of those same nights without ever seeing him.”
“It’s not stupid. You were a kid, and you wanted your dad. As someone who has wonderful memories with her father, I can’t tell you how devastated I would’ve been to miss out on making those memories. You have a valid reason for feeling the way you do. I truly believe that. But I guess I’m still confused. I don’t understand why you would come back here to fill his position if you hated it so much. Plus, what does any of this have to do with me and why you were upset with me?”
I parted my lips to give her some answers when I realized I couldn’t. I was bound by the terms of that contract, and I couldn’t utter a single word to her about my intentions. But I guess there was one small piece of truth I could give her. “For as much as he was absent all those years ago, my father was rattled by what happened to my mom a few weeks ago. He knew he couldn’t devote the time to this place that’s needed while also making sure he helps my mom through her recovery. She deserves to have that, and I am willing to do my part to make sure her husband is there for her through this.”
Natalia smiled at me. “You’re a good son, Reid.”
I huffed. “Yeah, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Anyway, a few days ago, one of my mom’s friends came to the house to visit with her, so my dad took the opportunity to make a quick stop here.”
“Right. I recall running into him on my way to your office. He looked like he was distracted, and if I hadn’t yelled out to him, he wouldn’t have seen me.”
That sounded about right. “After the way things went down in his office, I understand why.”
“What happened?”
I couldn’t tell her the specifics of the conversation I’d had with my father, and I hated that. But I had to give her something.
“My father and I have had a tumultuous relationship for years. I honestly can’t remember a time when it was ever great between us. It’s a big part of the reason I left here years ago and moved to Pennsylvania. We don’t get along. We never have. And when he stopped in last Wednesday, I wasn’t expecting him. The specifics of our argument don’t matter so much. It seems we argue the minute we’re in each other’s presence. The only thing we both have going for us is that we love my mom dearly. I think that’s the only reason we tolerate one another. Anyway, we argued, I was frustrated, and then you showed up. It does not excuse how I behaved toward you, but I wanted you to understand.”
Sympathy was etched onto Natalia’s features. “I appreciate you sharing this with me, Reid. It does help to know it wasn’t me you were upset with.”
I hated that she’d ever thought that was the case. And with it being after we’d had so many good days was even worse. “Never. Not for one second. I really am sorry.”
“I know.” She reached for my hand again and squeezed. “For what it’s worth, Reid, I honestly believe your father doesn’t just tolerate you. I’ve known him for years, and there wasn’tanything in his voice but pride every time he spoke about you. That isn’t a man who tolerates his son. That’s a man who loves his child.”
I sighed. “Natalia, it’s complicated?—”
“I know it is. I won’t pretend it’s as simple as I’d like to think it is. All I’m saying is that if you should ever decide you want to fix whatever it is between the two of you, I don’t think he’d ever turn it down.”
Whether it was just me needing not to stomp on the hope that I heard in Natalia’s voice at the possibility of a reconciliation between my father and me or if it was my own wish to see us get somewhere far more amicable than we were now, I didn’t know. Evidently, there was a lot I didn’t know when it came to my dad and the things he did here. This was going to take some time to sort out. Either way, I decided not to argue the point with Natalia.
“I appreciate you listening.”
“Anytime,” she assured me. “Honestly, if you ever want to talk about what to do moving forward with him, I’m more than happy to listen again.”
“I’m not quite sure I deserve the grace you’ve shown me,” I mumbled.
She smiled, squeezing my hand again. “We all deserve some, I think.”
Natalia might’ve been referring to me, but I couldn’t stop those words from penetrating a little deeper.
After learning her story and what role my father played in helping Natalia, maybe I really did need to consider where things were between him and me. Surely, if Natalia could have some grace for me when I’d done something far worse to her than he’d ever done to me, I could show some for my dad.
FIFTEEN
Natalia
When the knock came at my office door early Tuesday afternoon, I was elbows deep in work.
Between taking off completely on Friday and only working half a day yesterday, I’d fallen rather far behind. Normally, I was so on top of everything that needed to get done that it never hit me just how much work I took on between the two roles I fulfilled here at the retreat.
But after I’d come in yesterday, focusing on nothing but the work I needed to get done for the few hours I was here, and doing the same since I’d arrived first thing this morning, I was nearly caught up on everything.
Of course, I might now be delayed in completing those final few tasks, since it appeared I had a visitor. “Come in,” I called out.
The door opened, and I was pleasantly surprised to see Reid standing there with a warm smile on his face. “Hey.”
I smiled back. “Hi.”
