Page 299 of The Ascended
"My heart will only ever beat for you." The words came out rough, edged with darkness. "You own me completely. You always will."
I wanted to feel something at that confession. Wanted to tell him he deserved better than my emptiness. Wanted to care that he'd just married someone else an hour ago and here he was, holding me like I was his whole world.
I wanted to weep. To shatter. To let his words break me open so I could finally, finally feel the grief that sat like stones in my chest. I knew it was there—could sense its weight, its shape, the way it pressed against my ribs with every breath. The loss of him. The loss of Thatcher. The loss of any future where we all survived this intact. It was all there, buried under this terrible numbness.
"I know," I said against his chest.
He went completely still, every muscle in his body strained. "Thais, please—scream at me. Hit me. Hate me. Anything but this."
"I can't."
We stayed like that while the sun bled out over the ocean. Two broken things holding each other up.
He just held me while the waves crashed.
When he finally spoke again, his voice had gone cold. "You said you can't feel anything. But I can feel it all, Thais. Every bit of pain you're carrying. It's—" He stopped abruptly, jaw working.
I pulled back to look at him. His eyes were pure darkness.
"What do you mean?"
His hand rose to my face, fingers barely grazing my cheek. The touch was so gentle it hurt. "Nothing. I just... I know you, Thais Morvaren."
I looked out over the darkening ocean. Thatcher was out there—not in this realm, maybe not in any realm that currently existed. But he lived. I knew it with the same certainty I knew my own name.
"He's falling," I whispered. "Further every day. Like gravity itself is pulling him away from me."
“He’s still out there, Thais. And he’s strong. He has primordial blood running through his veins,” Xül said. “Wherever he is, he’s a reckoning for anyone who gets in his way.”
I squeezed his fingers once—all the affection I could manage. We stood together as darkness claimed the sky. Somewhere beyond the horizon, beyond reality, was Thatcher.
I'll be waiting for you.
One of the last things he’d said to me. I pulled away.
"Stay with me," Xül said suddenly. "Don't go yet. We can stay here as long as you want."
"It only makes it more difficult," I reminded him. "I can't give you what you need."
"I don't need anything from you." His voicewas fierce. "I just need you to exist. To be here. To let me help carry this until you can carry it yourself again."
"And if that's never?"
"Then I'll carry it forever." He said it like a simple fact. Like the sun rising. "That's what loving someone means."
Love.
What a cursed, vicious thing.
Chapter 69
A Glimpse
My spire rosefrom the landscape like a finger pointing at the heavens, isolated and imposing against the brightness of Sundralis's outer reaches. I'd chosen this place specifically for its distance from the capital city, from the other Aesymar.
As I approached the marble steps, I noticed a figure standing by the entrance.
I didn't quicken my pace. Didn't slow it either. Just continued my measured approach as the figure turned.
