Page 193 of The Ascended
Bellarium's quarters, usually too opulent for my taste, now felt claustrophobic. The walls wore judgment in every quiver of their carvings. Like they could sense my weakness.
And Kyren. I could still see his body crumpling.
He'd died a hero. And I'd given in to base desires conjured from my deepest vulnerabilities.
The perfect woman. She'd been beautiful, yes. Yet what haunted me was how completely I'd forgotten everything in those moments. Forgotten Thais, forgotten our mission. Forgotten myself.
And then... our parents. Standing there, whole and alive and smiling at me, like they were waiting for me to come home. The illusion had been so perfect, so real. Sulien's weathered hands. My mother's kind smile and indigo eyes—my eyes.
I'd known it wasn't real. Somewhere, buriedbeneath the desperate longing, I'd known. But I'd wanted it to be. Gods, how I'd wanted it.
"That was intense."
I startled. Chavore stood in the doorway, his usual bravado dimmed. His hair was disheveled, his eyes shadowed.
"We didn't know it was happening," he added, stepping into the room without waiting for an invitation. "That this would be the third trial."
I could only nod, not trusting my voice. My throat felt raw, as if I'd been screaming, though I couldn't remember doing so. Maybe I had.
The viewing portals had shown our shame to everyone, our deepest longings laid bare.
Chavore sank into a chair across from me, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "Do you want to talk about it? What you saw in there?"
I considered refusing. But his expression seemed genuine, and the weight of what I'd experienced threatened to crush me if I kept it contained any longer.
"At first it was just a woman," I said finally, my voice sounding distant even to my own ears. "Mind you, she was the most perfect woman I’ve ever encountered."
Chavore huffed a laugh. "Yeah. You seemed into that."
Heat crawled up my neck. It was humiliating to know they'd all watched me succumb so easily, so completely, to such a basic temptation. Thank the gods Thais had broken through before it had gone too far.
"And then it was my parents," I said, the shame giving way to a deeper ache that felt like it might never heal.
Chavore nodded, giving me his full attention. "Were you all close?"
I stared out the window into the moon-lit sky. How much could I safely reveal? "My mother died when I was a child. But Sulien, my father..." My voice caught. "He was great."
"I've never really been around my mother either," Chavore said after a moment. He reached for a crystal decanter on a nearby table and poured two glasses of something amber. "We've met, but it was very awkward and formal. When given the chance to meet her again, I decided against it."
He handed me a glass, and I took it, surprised by the personal revelation. I'd never considered Olinthar's romantic entanglements, or lack thereof. Looking around at the pantheon, I realized that while most of the Twelve had heirs, none seemed to have partners aside from Morthus.
"Is that common among the Twelve?" I asked, taking a sip of the drink. It tasted like liquid fire and honey, warming my chest. "To be... solitary?"
Chavore swirled his drink. "The concept of an heir doesn't naturally occur to those who never die." He said it matter-of-factly. "Once one of the Twelve had an heir, the rest basically followed suit. Creating contracts with lesser Aesymar with powers they wanted their offspring to have."
"Contracts?" I echoed.
"Creating the perfect chess pieces," he clarified with a humorless smile. “That would grow into pawns for strategic alliances, powerful combinations."
The revelation made my skin crawl. Divine heirs, bred to be useful. I thought of Thais and myself, accidents of Olinthar's lust rather than strategy, yet still caught in the game.
"It's hard to wrap my head around all of that," I said honestly. "The strategy and planning." I hesitated, then decided to push further. "Where does Elysia fit into all of that?"
Chavore's laugh was surprisingly resentful. "Well, I suppose I didn’t turn out to be the best bargaining chip in the end. No thunderclap army at my heels, no world-breaking blade, no flaming wings of judgment. Just… insight. Not something Olinthar would find a much worthy tool for negotiations."
"When we were in Pyros, Elysia told me that Olinthar reallysupported your relationship," I said, remembering her bragging about the King's approval.
Chavore's brow furrowed. "When were you in Pyros with Elysia?"
