Page 124 of The Ascended
His expression shuttered once more, jaw tightening. "A divine match made in absolute paradise."
"You don't want to marry her." It wasn't a question.
"How perceptive." He moved to a stone bench nearby, sinking onto it. "My preferences have never been particularly relevant."
I hesitated, then joined him, keeping distance between us. The memory of his cold threats in the Prison still burned beneath my skin. That was the real Xül—not this brooding figure beside me.
Wasn't it?
Remember what he is, I thought fiercely.Death incarnate. Cruelty with a beautiful face. He threatened everything you love without a moment's hesitation.
But another voice whispered beneath:Then why are you here?
"What makes her so unsuitable?” I asked, genuinely curious despite myself. “Besides the arranged marriage part, I mean."
"Beyond her personality?" His fingers drummed against the stone. "She represents everything I find suffocating about divine society."
"There are other options, surely," I pressed. "Other matches."
"Several." His voice scraped against his throat. "A dozen others who see my position rather than my person."
"Your position as heir to Draknavor?"
His eyes flashed. "My position as a useful tool in their endless games."
The vehemence in his voice startled me. I'd never heard him speak with such unguarded resentment. The Xül I knew—or thought I knew—kept everything locked beneath layers of ice and indifference.
"Have you ever felt like your entire existence was predetermined?" The question came suddenly, startling. "Every choice already made for you by hands not your own?"
A tide of memories surged through me—being forced to hide my powers, watching Sulien die for a secret that wasn't even his, being dragged to the Proving against my will. My entire life had been shaped by forces beyond my control, by divine whims that cared nothing for what I wanted.
"Yes," I admitted, my tone dipping without my permission.
He nodded. "Then perhaps you understand more than most."
"Understand what?"
"I have never," he said, each word deliberate, "felt like my life belonged to me." He looked up at the sky. "I was born a pawn in a game larger than myself." He trailed off, his expression darkening. "I remain as bound as any prisoner in my cells."
The admission seeped into me. At least I'd had twenty-six years of relative freedom. What would it be like to have never known even that?
I pressed my palms against my eyes, trying to sort through the tangle of feelings. It wasn't just physical attraction I felt towards him, though that part was rather distracting. No, it was something even more unsettling. Recognition, perhaps. The sense that Xül understood what it meant to belong nowhere completely, to feel as though he wasn’t his own person.
Was that why I felt drawn to him? Even when he did things I hated? Was it this shared experience of otherness? Or was it simpler than that? The thrill of danger, the forbidden nature of it all? Theway he looked at me sometimes, like he was seeing straight through to parts of myself I barely acknowledged?
"We're not so different, you and I," I said finally.
His gaze returned to mine. "No," he agreed. "I suppose we're not."
"So, what’s so rotten with Nyvora’s personality?" I asked, unable to let it go. "What's the history there?"
His expression darkened, and he looked away again. "The tables turned quite dramatically once I ascended. The same woman who once mocked my tainted blood now seeks my hand in marriage." Bitterness traced the edges of his voice, measured but undeniable.
"Oh."
"There was a gathering," he continued. "A celebration of some kind. I was perhaps ten years old, newly allowed to attend such functions. Nyvora was there with several other young Legends."
He fell silent for a moment, his expression hardening. "She led them in a game. Well, I suppose it was more of a hunt. They chased me through the halls of Sundralis, hurling insults and worse. I guess one swiped a blade from somewhere."
